Do you remember your reaction when you found out that you were expecting? Even though my daughter is now over a year old, I still vividly remember the gamete of emotions that I went through when I got the big fat positive that heralded in my pregnancy. At first, I was doubtful and afraid. In fact, I did not quite believe that the first rather faint positive home pregnancy test result. At just nine days post ovulation, I could not comprehend that I might finally have been pregnant again. So, I told myself that I would take another test the next morning and that more positive pregnancy tests would force me to admit that I was expecting.
When I woke up the next day at ten days post ovulation, I took another early result pregnancy test. The results: I was definitely and without a doubt pregnant. In fact, because I was not ready to trust the results of a single pregnancy test, I peed in a cup instead of on one stick so that I could test multiple times that morning. Thus, instead of the faintly positive result that I received the previous morning, at ten days post ovulation, I was greeted with two very clear positive pregnancy test results. I was finally pregnant! Three little positive lines on three separate tests all showed up in under three minutes. I was without a doubt an expectant mama-to-be.
With three positive pregnancy tests in my hand (with photos as proof), I was left with little room for denial. The optimistic girl inside me wanted to jump and down and shout to the rooftops in celebration. The cynical part of me, however, was still looking at those faintly positive pregnancy tests with a wary eye. After all I was only three weeks and three days along in my pregnancy. Even an early home pregnancy test could be positive one day and then negative the next, indicating a chemical pregnancy rather than a healthy pregnancy that I would carry to term.
Knowing that I was finally and without a doubt pregnant again did little to assuage my fears. I remember thinking that I should have been overjoyed with happiness at the moment. I also remember wondering why I was feeling somewhat ambivalent about my then current state despite a total of three positive home pregnancy tests within a two day period. The answer was quite simple: Getting pregnancy after a miscarriage is scary. I was afraid of getting attached to another baby only to experience another loss.
In an attempt to alleviate some of my pregnancy fears, I did a little more research on miscarriage. Research almost always makes me feel better. Having the facts in hand would help me feel not so scared. According to information from the Mayo Clinic, because I had had only one previous miscarriage, my subsequent risk for pregnancy loss was about the same as for a woman who had never lost a pregnancy via miscarriage, which was about 20%. Knowing that I had the same odds now of losing (or keeping, depending on my viewpoint) my then current pregnancy as before my first miscarriage brought me a little bit of comfort. All pregnancies have about a 20% of loss; my risk was no more and no less. Additionally, as I also learned, the average woman will experience at least one miscarriage during her lifetime. In many cases, the woman never knows that she lost the pregnancy (as is the case of a chemical pregnancy) and will then carry a subsequent pregnancy to term. I had to keep my spirits up and think positive thoughts about my new pregnancy to move past my fear of miscarriage.
Despite my denial about the faint positive results that I received on both nine days post ovulation and ten days post ovulation, three positive home pregnancy tests meant that I was definitively pregnant. Although sometimes lying about being negative, early home pregnancy tests are notoriously accurate in giving positives. And, with the multitude of subsequent tests that I would take over the next few days that would also give me positive results, I finally did admit to myself that I was finally a mother-to-be. I may not have feared pregnancy outright, but I was terrified of losing another baby to another miscarriage. But you should cut me some slack. I was a newly pregnant woman with newly pregnant crazy emotions!
How many pregnancy tests did you take before you finally admitted that you were expecting?
Miscarriage: Risk factors: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pregnancy-loss-miscarriage/DS01105/DSECTION=risk-factors
Two Positive Home Pregnancy Tests at Ten Days Post Ovulation © 2011 Heather Johnson