The nostalgia is understandable. Recreating your childhood isn’t the answer.
As someone who grew up in the 1990’s I can understand that there is a certain appeal to “’90s parenting”: fewer screens, more time outside, neighborhood adventures, unstructured play and the idea that kids should simply be allowed to be kids. For parents who grew up in the decade, it can feel like a return to a childhood that seemed less scheduled and less supervised.
But nostalgia has a funny way of editing out the inconvenient parts. As someone who can look back at that era, it feels like much of the attraction comes from parents believing their children are missing the “magic” they experienced growing up—and wanting to recreate it for them. The problem is, that magic only exists in your mind and it’s probably not very relevant to today’s kids.
Some ’90s Ideas Are Worth Bringing Back
Let’s be honest: some of it was pretty good parenting. Encouraging children to play outside, giving them opportunities for independence, allowing boredom to inspire creativity and reducing the constant presence of screens are all ideas worth considering.
But we shouldn’t confuse less supervision with better parenting. Some of the things that we 90’s kids remember, like being left alone for hours or being expected to tough out difficult experiences, aren’t necessarily lessons worth passing to another generation. Considering the amount of parents of the era who now see therapy to unwind some of these outdated concepts, the number suggests that it wasn’t all Saturday morning cartoons and endless bike rides.
In fact, the research highlights several outdated messages adults of the 1990’s told us that we should avoid handing down to our kids, including the idea that children should suppress emotions or simply “get over” difficult experiences.
Stop Recreating Your Childhood. Start Creating Theirs.
The bottom line is this: ’90s parenting isn’t about the longing for outdoor play or fewer screens. It’s the assumption that your childhood was the blueprint for a good childhood.The thing is, your kids aren’t growing up in the world you grew up in.
Your kids are facing challenges and societal situations in their friendships, technology, school experiences and other challenges are vastly different from when we grew up and their interests likely have absolutely nothing to do with yours. This is a generationally normal thing. My parents thought my punk rock was “just noise” and I think my kid’s favourite music lacks heart and soul. The conceot of “90’s” or “Retro” parenting simply works to set your kids back a few decades when they should be surging forward in their own childhoods.
So, go ahead and introduce your kids to the things you loved. Play the music, visit the places, teach them the games and let them experience some glorious boredom. But don’t be shocked when they they don’t find your nostalgia magical.
The concept of “90’s” or “Retro” parenting simply works to set your kids back a few decades when they should be surging forward in their own childhoods. The goal isn’t to give our children the childhood we had. It’s to give them a childhood they’ll someday be nostalgic for.
