When my daughter was a teenager, she came to me and said I needed to install a popular location-sharing app. She told me that she would feel safer knowing that I could tell where she was when she was out with her friends.
Now she and two of her siblings are adults, and I still have the app installed, but she’s the only one of my adult children I’m linked to on it. It’s not something I would have considered installing myself, or pressuring my kids into if they weren’t interested, so I found it surprising to see that more than half of parents with kids the same age range as mine are using apps to track their locations.
A new survey delves into why parents track their adult children, as well as how often they do so secretly or without giving their kids the option to refuse, which kids they’re more likely to track, and how it affects their sense of anxiety for their children.
About Half Of Parents With Kids Ages 18-25 Are Using Tracking Apps
When the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health asked more than two thousand parents across the United States about tracking their adult offspring, they learned that a majority are doing so. In fact, 52% of parents with kids ages 18 to 25 use tracking apps to keep an eye on their children’s location.
More parents say they track their kids between ages 18 and 20 than older kids, and parents are more likely to track daughters’ locations than sons’.
While a majority of parents who track say they always do so (71%), others use location tracking only in specific situations, such as when their child uses a ride-share service, is out late, or heads to an unfamiliar location.
Why Are Parents Tracking Their Adults?
The most common reason parents give for tracking their adult children is simple peace of mind. Sure, we know that our kids are probably fine, but for about 68% of trackers, the reassurance of seeing it on the screen is a big draw.
Despite this, about a quarter of parents who track their kids’ locations say it makes them feel more anxious than reassured.
The next most commonly cited reason is emergencies (64%), followed by using location to determine whether it’s a good time to call (21%). For 17% of parents, to “stay current” was the stated reasoning, and 9% admit they want the ability to check whether their adult offspring are “in [an] approved place.”
What Reasons Do Parents Give For Not Tracking?
Parents who don’t track their kids’ location tend to cite reasons connected to their child’s develoment and autonomy.
Two-thirds of those who don’t track their kids say that to do so feels like an invasion of privacy. (Sixteen percent of those who do track agree, but do so anyway.)
Just over half (51%) of non-trackers fear that tracking an adult child will inhibit the child’s independence and responsibility. (Eleven percent of those who do track their adult offspring think so too.)
Does The Adult Child Get A Say?
Most parents who use tracking apps say their child knows their location is being monitored. Only 4% appear to be doing so in secret.
However, that doesn’t mean that all adult offspring have opted in:
“Only 54% of parents say they gave their young adult child the option to not have them track their location. Parents of young adults age 21-25 are more likely than parents of children 18-20 to say they gave the option to not track (61% vs 47%).”
The survey did not examine whether this aligns with situations where the parent is providing the cell phone or other financial support, or what other enforcement means parents may use to insist on monitoring an adult’s location; nor what percentage of the adult children who aren’t given a choice would decline monitoring if they were.
Turnabout Is Fair Play
One interesting side effect I noticed when I connected location-sharing with my then-teen daughter was a new influx of texts to the effect of, “Hey [app] says you’re at the grocery store. Can you pick up the chips I like?”
I’m not the only parent who quickly learns that location sharing goes both ways. The survey found that almost half of parents (48%) said their adult child also tracked their location. A small percentage of parents even said that their adult child tracks their location, although they don’t track their child’s!
Mott’s research team speculates that this aspect of tracking could encourage parents to have a bit more understanding and empathy about being tracked.
The Balance Of Safety & Privacy
Many young adults, especially young women, opt into location sharing, whether with parents or a friend group, especially for situations like a first date or travel.
That said, there are some important factors to bear in mind. First, location-sharing has its limits. While a parent can confirm that their child’s phone is still in the dorm room or at the skate park, that’s not clear and definitive evidence that the child is in the same location, or that they are safe. Location services can also vary in effectiveness, and setting a device or app to battery-saving mode may turn location sharing off.
All human beings deserve a degree of privacy, and while the exact amount may be negotiable for minors, adults generally need some distance from their parents to develop their own freedom.
The exact balance will vary from family to family, but if you’re considering tracking your adult offspring, it’s a good idea to have a conversation about where the line is drawn.
