As parents, most of us are doing our absolute best to meet all of our children’s physical and emotional needs. Every one of us is getting some things wrong, and hopefully, we’re doing our best to connect with our kids in a way that balances this, acknowledges our own mistakes, and focuses on support and love.
Still, some kids will grow into adults who cut their parents off for various reasons. Sometimes, parents — both those with good intentions and those with other priorities — do that much damage to the relationship, and then the question is whether it can be salvaged.
Saving A Damaged Relationship
To repair a damaged relationship, whether it’s between parent and child or any other pair of people, both individuals have to be willing. However, if one participant in the relationship did the damage, whether intentional or not, they have to make an effort to make amends.
Too often, when a parent have left their child hurting or needing, they’ll demand forgiveness without doing the work on their own end to make up for the harm done and find themselves confused when their kid isn’t ready to take another chance and risk getting hurt again.
Simone Biles’ Childhood
Ron and Nellie Biles are the parents who raised Olympic gymnast and national treasure Simone Biles. They supported her interest and later career in gymnastics, cheered her from the sidelines, and stood behind her in her ambitions.
However, they are not her birth parents. Ron is her biological grandfather.
According to NBC, Biles was born to Ron’s daughter, Shanon Biles. Shanon struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, resulting in Simone and three siblings being removed from the home.
From age three until six, Simone and her siblings lived in a foster home, where she has recounted looking forward to visits from her grandfather. Eventually, Ron and his wife Nellie could adopt Simone and her sister Adria, while a great-aunt adopted her other two siblings.
Shanon Biles
To be clear, Shanon seems to have been letting her children move forward in their lives while she’s worked on her own. There are no reports that she’s tried to ride Simone’s coattails as the young gymnast became famous or that she’s tried to capitalize on her biological daughter’s success.
Instead, she has reportedly worked to get clean and sober and is working a retail job. She does follow her daughter’s life but says that any communication or information sharing is through her father, Ron, rather than directly. She also indicated that she has spoken to Adria. PennLive reported:
“I speak to Adria more than I speak to Simone,” she said. “I would just ask her to forgive me. Can we move forward? Don’t judge me on my past. Let’s move forward.”
Is Shanon Biles Pushing Simone Biles For Reconciliation?
Shanon does not seem to have been seeking a spotlight or using media to cajole Simone into a response. Instead, The Daily Mail reportedly contacted her for an interview, and she complied and answered their questions.
She makes it clear that she hopes for reconciliation and frequently asks Ron about Simone. She and Ron are on good terms now that she’s got her life on the right track, she shares.
However, she’s unequivocal that she won’t try to force Simone’s hand. She’s waiting and hoping the Olympic star will allow her to make amends. She says:
“I do have a direct number, but I won’t use it…I want her to reach out to me. She’s 27 now. She’s married. I would have liked to have been a part of that, but I just have to wait for her. You can’t push anybody.”
Missed Connections With Simone’s Biological Father
Shanon also isn’t trying to force a connection between Simone and her biological father. She says he’s made contact with her and asked her to bring the two together, but she tells him she can’t do that since “I can’t even talk to her.”
Her pride in Simone’s success is clear, as are her sorrow and regret. According to The Independent, she recently hosted an Olympic watch party to share in the gymnast’s triumph.
A Daughter’s Success: Simone Is Grateful For Her Upbringing
Simone doesn’t seem to be responding to requests for a response to the interview with her birth mother, but even before it was published, she was very clear about her feelings. She told Today host Hoda Kotb:
“If not for my parents and adoption I would not be here today.”
Does Simone Biles Owe Her Mother Redemption?
When and if Simone reunites with her biological mother will be up to her. Shanon has made a public declaration, so if her daughter has any questions about her mother’s current situation or state of mind, those are answered. She knows her biological mother would like a relationship.
Shanon’s decision not to pressure her daughter is laudable. She has done work on herself, but if she’s hoping for a reunion, it will require work on the relationship — and it’s not yet clear whether Simone has any interest in that.
The Public Is Having Feelings About The Entire Ordeal
Simone hopped on Threads on Wednesday to address criticism over purchasing a Hermes bag after posting photos on her Instagram. She corrected assumptions that she’d spent money on the bag:
“[M]y parents bought me my [H]ermes bag…don’t be mad at me, be mad at your parents.”
If she thought that would halt the criticism, it didn’t. Instead, it shifted it to her relationship (or lack thereof) with her birth mother. On Twitter, one critic commented:
“Simone Biles is petty…last night news broke that her birth mom who had to give her up at birth is looking for her to rekindle things and this morning Simone tweets that her parents bought her a birkin.”
Aside from getting the factual details about Simone’s childhood wrong, that commenter echoed others.
One seemed to reference the gymnast’s Today Show comments, declaring, “Simone would not be here without her biological mom giving birth to her. Simone hit her DNA [through] mom & dad.”
At the same time, others were defending the young star’s right to her own choices. One said:
“[Shanon] didnt give Simone talent. The talent was in Simone always…all her mom did was birth her.”
Another Twitter user weighed in on Simone’s behalf, arguing:
“It isn’t the world’s business if Simone has forgiven her birth mom or not. 2. She can both forgive her and choose not to let her be a part of her life. She is still allowed to set healthy boundaries.”
As for Simone Biles, whatever she’s thinking about her biological mom showing up in the news, she’s not sharing it with her adoring public.