Every person is the product of many factors, including genetics, their environment and experiences, and their own personal choices.
One of the most significant influences, though, through childhood and into young adulthood, will always be parenting. Though people can and do move far from what their parents have taught, those influences always have an effect.
One parenting choice, more than any other, seems to make a difference in everything from self-esteem to, as the latest study shows, internet addiction.
We’re Talking About Warmth
A study that’s just now being published in Frontiers In Psychology examined internet addiction in college students and looked for a correlation with parenting choices.
It turns out that when parenting is warm and loving, our kids are less likely to suffer out-of-control levels of internet addiction by the time they reach young adulthood. The study even found a connection that helps explain the link.
The students who had warm, loving relationships with their parents and showed lower levels of tech addiction also tended to have higher levels of self-esteem and self-control.
By contrast, there was a clear link between more negative or harsh parenting and internet addiction. There was also evidence of lowered self-esteem or self-control in these subjects, although the connection wasn’t quite as strong as in the positive examples.
Is Dopamine The Missing Puzzle Piece?
We already know that the reason most of our internet usage, online gaming, and doomscrolling becomes so addictive is the dopamine hits.
If you think of the places you spend the most time online or on your electronic devices, whether that’s TikTok and social media, or your favorite merge or match-three style casual game, you’ll notice that they all draw you in by the same methods.
It takes only a few moments to get a dopamine hit; Oh, my friend is getting married, check out the funny dog video, there’s another match, and look at those blocks tumble! — and there’s another one waiting right behind it.
If you find yourself saying, “Just one more [scroll/level/post/video]” over and over, that’s the dopamine holding you tight.
We can all be susceptible to dopamine addiction, but it seems to be stronger when a person is lacking in human connection. A 2022 study in Frontiers In Psychology examined the connection, finding that individuals who had a sense of “social exclusion” were more subject to smartphone addiction.
Does Internet Addiction Really Matter?
Even in high school, our kids are using the internet constantly, not just for entertainment, but for education.
In many schools, the textbooks are now e-books, the tests are online, and even the classes might be done over distance. By college, this amps up. Research is done on a laptop, rather than in the library.
Outside school, most of our kids are destined for jobs that rely on internet skills, whether that means managing a company, running computer diagnostic programs in a mechanic shop, or operating microcomputers that carry out less invasive surgical procedures.
Everything in our kids’ lives may rely on tech, but rather than negate the need for temperance, that only amplifies it.
Increasingly, we see that internet addiction has a severely negative impact on mental health, relationships, and life satisfaction. It’s imperative that we teach our kids how to use this tech and the ability to step away from it.
What Does All That Mean For Parents?
This means that the efforts we put into actively teaching our kids self-control and limiting electronics are not the whole story.
We do have to encourage our kids to find ‘slow dopamine.’ Slow dopamine is the pleasant feeling when you’ve learned something new through effort, or when you’ve completed a project, or after exercise or meaningful social connections. Slow dopamine is associated with long-term happiness, with overall well-being, and as an ingredient in the recipe for success.
(By contrast, that quick dopamine we get from scrolling is associated with, you won’t be surprised to know, addictive behaviors, dissatisfaction, and the craving for more, more, more.)
However, this new data reaffirms that social connection, and a warm connection with parents, is a key.
While we’re instructing our kids on the ‘right’ way to engage with their screens, the lesson seems to last more if we’re also engaging with them warmly and lovingly.
If you’re still raising younger children, check out this article from a leading pediatrician who explains how to handle screen time for children.