Maybe you’ve heard, especially if you’re a woman, that when in danger, instead of shouting “help,” you should yell, “FIRE!”
The idea is that ‘help’ and other words one might shout when frightened or under attack might cause bystanders to fear getting involved. Thus, a random stranger might pretend they don’t hear instead of coming to your aid — but when you shout the word ‘fire’, the theory suggests that everyone turns to look.
Now, there’s a version to teach your kids.
What Word Gets Your Attention The Fastest?
A mom dropped her strategy on TikTok, which immediately resonated with me.
I’ve been at family events, at kids’ baseball games, and even at a store without my kids, I heard a child who was not mine shout, “Mom!” and instinctively immediately turned. After all, that’s the name I’ve probably been called more than any other for the past two decades.
I’ve noticed other moms doing the same. Sometimes, we’ve laughed together about it. My nephew even teased me about it once, informing me that I wasn’t the only person named “Mom” at my sister’s house that day.
It’s an excellent point: if your child yells “Mom!” then it’s pretty likely all the women who go by that name will turn to see what’s happening, even some who don’t.
Other Moms Chime In To Agree
You can check out Sierra Noelle’s TikTok below for her suggestion: teach your kids to shout “Mom!” when in danger because that gets attention.
Sure enough, her followers leaped to confirm.
“I’m no mom, not even dog mom, but if I hear a child screaming mom, I AM MOM,” one said.
Another said, “You scream for Mom or Mommy, and every single woman will turn to look and find you,” and yet another said that the word “Mom” is like an alarm.
That hits hard, too — hearing “Mom” wakes me up faster than anything. It’s a word that sets on on instant ‘alert’ status.
One mom had an additional piece of advice to add: as well as the shout, she says, she teaches her daughter to run for the nearest woman.
This Echoes Other Similar Advice
I’ve heard before that we should teach our kids if they’re grabbed by a stranger, instead of kicking and screaming, they should specifically shout, “This is not my [mom/dad]! This is a stranger!”
It’s intended to reduce the risk that would-be rescuers mistake an abductor for a parent taking a child who is having a tantrum out of a situation.
This advice may originate from the horror story that came when two Australian children, Joanne Ratcliffe and Kirste Gordon, aged 11 and 4 respectively, went missing. They were apparently abducted by a stranger at a football match, with a crowd of witnesses, according to CrimeStoppers SSA.
It’s possible onlookers believed they were witnessing a father removing his kids from the location.
Attention Could Be The Key
The bystander effect is the theory that people witnessing a situation will avoid intervening, and it surfaces from misreporting about the murder of Kitty Genovese. Although the tales of dozens of witnesses standing by idly while the young woman was victimized may be untrue, the American Psychological Association stands by the conclusions, which have been supported by studies since.
Essentially, people may be averse to taking actions that could get them involved in trouble. Nobody really wants to stand around and wait for the police to show up, or risk also being the victim of violence, or look silly if they read a situation wrong.
On the other side, a culprit rarely wants attention, though. Knowing that there’s a risk of witnesses may be enough to deter violent behavior, sometimes.
So, teach your kids to get attention.
They can shout, “This isn’t my dad.” They can scream for Mom. If they’re in a car and can reach the horn, they can lean on it.
Anything that draws eyes to a would-be assailant could help to bring the situation to a halt or even to identify the individual after the fact.
What Else Should Your Kids Know?
Parents live in terror of the classic abduction image, in which they turn their back for a moment while shopping, and their child is snatched by some waiting stranger who runs for the exit.
This is not the typical type of abduction, though. The most common abductions are by a family member. Still, when stranger abductions do happen, there are a handful of common tricks they frequently use, according to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC).
Convincing a kid to go along willingly means reducing witnesses and the risk of discovery, so a would-be abductor may ask your child for directions, help find their missing puppy, or claim that there is an emergency and that the child’s parents sent him.
NCMEC advises practicing these scenarios with your child and teaching your child to say, “I have to get permission from my parents first.”
You can also set up a code word with your child so they know anyone who doesn’t know the secret password was not sent by Mom or Dad, and help them understand that people genuinely seeking help will try to speak to an adult.
Other Important Steps
Ensure you have recent photos (without filters) of your child in which your child’s face and eye color are clearly visible.
Consider using a system like the National Child ID Program, which provides a kit for collecting your child’s fingerprints and creating a card with other identifying information that would help law enforcement in an emergency.
Teach kids important information, including their parents’ names (again, there are an awful lot of people in the world named “Mom”) and phone numbers, their home address, and who to trust in an emergency. Teach them to look for employee uniforms when in a store, and the uniforms that identify police, park rangers, and other officials in public spaces.
