Ask the parents of a one-, two- or three-year-old child what frustrates them most and you will get the same old answers: crying, saying no and sometimes plates being thrown aside. Pediatricians say all of these things are normal behavior, except for the frequency and severity of these incidents.
From 12 months to age 3, children learn to walk, gain independence and start to speak. Their wants grow faster than their ability to express them.
Words come later than emotions and adults often interpret this gap as stubbornness or defiance when really it’s a child trying to make sense of a big, noisy world. Here are some habits that you might find frustrating but are normal for your child’s development.
1. Tantrums
The American Academy of Pediatrics says tantrums typically start around 12 to 18 months, worsen between ages 2 and 3, and then ease off.
Parents should stay calm and consistent if their child is resistant, but they shouldn’t always give in to demands.
2. Saying ‘No’ To Everything
Refusal is one means by which toddlers learn independence. As suggested by the American Academy of Pediatrics, parents should impose boundaries. At the same time, offer their children options that make them feel independent. If it is a matter of safety, parents must be strict and consistent.
3. Picky Eating
Parents describe a quarter to a third of toddlers and preschoolers as picky eaters. Small children also tend to be wary of food, and they often copy what family members and other kids eat. Parents can simply offer meals and snacks to their kids and let them do the rest.
4. Hitting and Grabbing
A child psychologist at CHOC (Children’s Health of Orange County) mentioned that some aggression, such as hitting and grabbing when angry, is developmentally appropriate because toddlers haven’t yet learned social norms or how to manage feelings.
Redirecting the child and briefly naming the rule is advised.
5. Bedtime Resistance
Resistance at bedtime is typical of children at age two, along with other tantrums and being a fussy eater. Having a consistent routine may assist in knowing what to expect at bedtime.
The use of a consistent bedtime, calming activities and simple reminders will make it easier for your child to go to sleep.
6. Clinginess
Crying when a parent leaves the room is normal. This crying can be part of a child’s attachment and is a normal part of early child development.
Once the child understands that the parent will come back, tears will be much easier to deal with. Brief soothing and predictable goodbyes are more effective than simply disappearing.
What Parents Can Do
Normal child habits have edges. Parents can:
- Set limits that are clear and consistent
- Praise good behavior when it happens
- Offer two acceptable choices instead of an open question
- Stay calm during outbursts
Talk to your pediatrician if tantrums stay severe or frequent, or if growth stalls or just slows. Parents should keep note if their child is eating only a narrow set of foods or textures or if they can’t seem to calm down at all.
