Most parents hope a teenager’s first romance stays simple. Sometimes it doesn’t. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) revealed that about 1 in 12 high school students who dated in the previous year experienced physical dating violence, based on its 2021 Youth Risk Behavior Survey.
Parents are often the last to know. A 2009 survey cited by Love Is Respect found that 58 percent of parents could not correctly identify all the warning signs of abuse.
Here’s a list of 10 red flags parents should never ignore
1. Pulling Away from Friends and Family
A teen who keeps canceling plans or spends every free hour with a partner may be getting pressure to do so. A healthy relationship leaves room for other people.
2. Constant Jealousy
A partner who checks in all day, demands to know where your teen is or gets angry about time with friends is trying to control. If your kid is worried about their partner checking who contacted them, it can be a sign.
3. A Sudden Change In Mood
Anxiety, irritability or withdrawal that starts soon after the relationship does can point to stress at home or in the relationship.
4. Fear of the Partner’s Reaction
If your teen worries about how their partner will respond to everyday things, take it seriously.
5. Dropping Hobbies
A teen who quits the team, the band or the club they used to love may be putting their partner’s wishes first.
6. Making Excuses
Teens who often apologize for a partner’s behavior or explain away hurtful treatment may be taking on blame that isn’t theirs.
7. Nonstop Drama
Disagreements happen. Constant fighting or a cycle of breaking up and getting back together can wear your teen down.
8. Put-downs and Dismissiveness
A partner who mocks a teen’s opinions, feelings or limits is committing emotional abuse, according to Kid Stuff Counseling.
9. Pressure for Physical Intimacy
No teen should be made to feel guilty for saying no. Parents should say clearly that consent applies every time.
10. Digital monitoring
WomensLaw.org lists demands to see a teen’s phone, email or social media accounts or logging in without permission, among one of the warning signs of teen dating violence. Meanwhile, Hubbard House added that a partner who texts constantly and makes a teen feel threatened for not answering right away fits the pattern.
What Parents Can Do To Help Their Kids
Parents are advised to start with inquiries rather than accusations. Find out how your teen feels about the relationship. Promote interests and friendships outside of it.
Make sure your adolescent understands that no one has to remain in a relationship that makes them feel self-conscious and that they are free to set boundaries.
Many teens in their first relationships are often unable to recognize the warning signs. Start a conversation if anything doesn’t seem right.
