Most of us can recall some excellent advice from our mothers, on topics from parenting to self-care to housekeeping. Then there’s the advice that makes sense to adults, but may not quite click for kids.
When grown-up sayings carry confusing energy and high expectations, kids can feel confused and frustrated.
Now, one grandma who has built quite a social media following by sharing her own motherly wisdom is addressing these old sayings in a book that helps children understand them, while also inviting parents to consider a child’s viewpoint.
Crying Over Spilled Milk
We all know we shouldn’t cry over spilt milk. Crying won’t clean the mess. Instead, grab a towel or a mop, take care of the problem, and move on, right?
Both literally and figuratively, that’s pretty good advice, most of the time. Unless, of course, you’re about 6 years old and you just poured your own milk for the first time. It was so much work. The jug was heavy, and keeping a cup upright while pouring, perhaps standing on a kitchen chair at the counter, was a process, but you were so determined to do it yourself.
Then, just as you finished the process, the bottom of the jug bumped the cup, and all your hard work was dripping off the counter onto the floor and running under the microwave and coffee pot.
Babs Costello’s book is for those moments.
She writes for those children who need to hear someone say, “Sometimes, you just have to cry,” and for those parents who need to hear, “Sometimes, your kid needs to cry first and wipe up the milk second.”
As she explains it:
“Sometimes it’s perfectly okay to cry over spilled milk. Life can feel big, and sometimes the little things matter more than we think.”
Did Your Mother Ever Tell You?
On TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram, Babs (known by the handle brunchwithbabs) often starts a video with the words “Did your mother ever tell you?”
Then she veers into the sorts of tips that make households, families, and holidays run smoothly, like using your ironing board as extra counter space for holiday baking, the best way to load the dishwasher, how to pack for a road trip, or how to combat garbage-can odors.
This time, though, in a children’s book titled Did Your Mother Ever Tell You?, she’s taking on the many things parents (and teachers, grandparents, and other adults) tell children without really considering the impact.
Think of phrases like “birds of a feather flock together,” “hold your horses,” and “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”
They all make a certain kind of sense, in the right circumstances, and if you understand the metaphors. Yet, they can all be confusing and overwhelming for a child, especially before they have the discernment to know when these sayings apply and when they don’t.
Hold Your Horses (Sometimes)
As Babs reminds us in the book, there are times to “hold your horses”— that is, to slow yourself down and think before leaping into action or reacting, or just to calm down and have a little patience.
“But did your mother ever tell you, there are times you can let your horses run, because it’s okay to get excited about something you love!”
She also addresses “catching more flies with honey than with vinegar,” and reminds us that yes, it is important to be kind, but it’s also important to know when standing up for yourself is the right move.
Seven Little Life Lessons
Babs describes the book as “seven little life lessons that encourage patience, love, kindness, self-acceptance, courage, resilience, and even hope.”
Most importantly, it’s one of those very special books that benefits not only a child, but the adult reading it. The sweet illustrations and thoughtful messages will also remind adults that kids may hear these phrases literally and not process the figurative meanings.
It also reminds adults that when we tell kids things like “don’t sweat the small stuff,” we may be overlooking the fact that things that seem like small stuff to us (maybe not having a cookie in their lunch box, or getting the wrong color cup for their juice) can be really big for our children.
Costello released her first-ever book, a cookbook, just a few years ago, at 73, after becoming a viral sensation for her thoughtful wisdom and shared experience. Now, her second is a wonderful and loving message that the world needs.
