By now, we all know that bullying hurts.
Whether or not the bullying includes physical attacks, it can leave deep scars on the victim’s psyche. A recently published study confirms that in teens, bullying can increase depression and result in poorer academic prospects, including a reduced likelihood of attending college.
The study also found that a sense of exclusion has some of the most severe effects on a teen.
Mental Health Is A Serious Issue For Teens
Adolescence is hard.
Our kids are going through massive hormonal and physical changes, and their social lives are turned upside down. Friend groups shift, peer pressure hits harder than ever, and the expectations for behavior, responsibility, and academics increase.
If your child suddenly finds that they no longer fit in with their peer group or that they’re being mistreated by people they formerly were close with, it just makes everything even harder.
Researchers Followed Students Through High School
This newly released study started in 2020, following ninth-graders from 38 high schools. The students were asked about their interactions with peers, and researchers followed up throughout their high school years to examine their mental states, academic success, and future outlook.
From 9th through 11th grade, the students observed in the study were asked to fill out surveys several times a year, discussing their social interactions, mental health, and plans or expectations for their futures, including further education and employment prospects.
It’s no surprise to anyone who has been through high school that bullying was found to be detrimental, but some specific details stood out, particularly in terms of the effect bullying has on a teen’s future.
One Type Of Negative Social Interaction Seemed To Have The Strongest Effect
There are many kinds of bullying, but as Hannah Schacter, one of the authors of the study, explained in The Conversation, targeted attacks like threats, name-calling, and even physical assault were not associated with more pessimistic future outlooks. Instead, exclusion and rejection made students feel that college and careers weren’t in their future. She wrote:
“Adolescents who experienced forms of peer victimization that involve exclusion – being deliberately ignored or left out of group activities – or who experienced damage to social relationships were the worst off…Teens who reported being more frequently bullied by peers in ninth grade subsequently reported lower expectations for their future educational and career prospects by 11th grade. That is, bullied teens felt less confident in their ability to achieve their desired level of education, find enjoyable work and make enough money to support themselves after high school.”
What Can We Do To Negate These Effects?
Schacter intends to continue following up with these students post-graduation and seeking effective solutions to bullying.
For the rest of us, we must take bullying very seriously. One thing this study shows is that bullying is damaging even when it doesn’t rise to the level of harassment or physical attacks, so even when our kids are just feeling excluded and rejected, we still have to address it.
That means we need to ensure our kids aren’t bullying and taking part in isolating other kids. We must also check in with them regularly to ensure they’re not being isolated.
We also must demand that our kids’ schools be vigilant about these behaviors.
What Can We Do Outside Of School?
We can help our kids find communities where they feel accepted and comfortable, ideally starting before their teen years.
That may mean enrolling them in extracurricular activities, sports, or clubs where they can meet people who share their interests or helping them practice ways to connect with others. When they’re younger, we can plan meetups with other moms whose kids are dealing with similar treatment and try to help them find people they can connect with over a shared experience.
We also can work on teaching our kids resilience and how to deal with bullying. The American Psychological Association recommends:
“Until something can be done on an administrative level, work with your child to handle bullying without being crushed or defeated. Practice scenarios at home where your child learns how to ignore a bully and/or develop assertive strategies for coping with bullying. Help your child identify teachers and friends that can help them if they’re worried about being bullied.”
As parents, we can work to ensure our kids receive positive messages of love and support at home to counter any messages of rejection and exclusion from their peer groups.
