The holidays are a special time for everyone, but they’re an extra special time for parents. Between figuring out the perfect gift for each kid, creating a magical, cozy winter wonderland on a daily basis for weeks, baking cookies and pies, cooking elaborate meals for friends and family, and, in general, being responsible for the holiday cheer of those they love most, parents don’t have the easiest time during the holiday season.
So even if it’s just for tonight, kick your feet up, pour a glass of egg nog (or wine … or something, ahem, harder), and read these relatable, hilarious tweets about fellow parents just trying to make it to New Year’s.
Coal Is Actually The Best Gift Of All
This mom clearly thought she was about to deter her 5-year-old from acting out by sharing that Santa brings coal to kids who end up on the “naughty list,” but her little one knew that coal = diamonds.
It’s always tough to get outsmarted by a small child, but it has to be extra hard during the holidays when you’re already just trying to get by.
The Kids Sleep In Late … Eventually
This parent lives in the golden age of parenting when your child doesn’t want to get up early on Christmas morning to open presents and would much rather sleep in.
For all the parents of exuberant and very awake little kids who end up greeting the sun on Christmas morning, don’t worry. They’ll be sleepy teenagers soon enough.
Toys Are Too Complicated
Some toys that need to be assembled, especially the ones for kids older than 10, have instructions that are way too complex for the simple, tired parent mind.
Think about this when you are heading to the toy store this holiday season.
School Spirit Days Are Getting Out Of Hand
There are hardly any normal days between the actual holidays and the made-up holidays that schools make up and expect kids to be dressed up for.
And who experiences all that stress? You guessed it: not the kids, but their parents. Schools, we’re begging you. Do away with school spirit days.
The Holidays Can Get Confusing
Look, there are a lot of holidays all crammed into one season and it gets confusing for kids! Unfortunately, Hanukkah is not the same as Thanksgiving, and neither of those is the same as Halloween.
This kid might be onto something, though. I’m all for ChristmaHanuKwanzaHallowGiving.
Don’t Ask — Just Don’t Do It
Kids are fickle, and chances are what they couldn’t live without two months ago has been completely forgotten and replaced with another obsession.
This is why you never, and we mean never, ask your kid what they’re most looking forward to getting during the holidays.
We Get Presents, Right? Right??
You can try all you want to teach kids that the holiday season is about spending quality time with your loved ones, giving to others, and spreading joy.
But to them, it’s all about presents. You were the same way when you were a kid. Don’t lie.
Don’t Fall Asleep During The Recital
There’s nothing quite like a Christmas pageant mainly featuring other people’s kids to make the rage and exhaustion bubble up from deep down where you were trying to hide it.
But those 90 seconds your kid is on stage will be the cutest 90 seconds of the whole thing, so stay strong, parents.
Sometimes Mommy Is A Perfectionist
It’s cute and all when your kids are finally old enough to help put ornaments on the tree, but a perfectionist parent might not be thrilled with their technique.
So much of parenting is learning how to let go. It’s OK if you can’t immediately let go of your meticulous Christmas decorating.
Noisy Instruments Are Big No-Nos
The Little Drummer Boy from the popular Christmas song spends a lot of time drumming. Which vengeful relative bought him his drum?
Everyone knows that only real haters gift kids noisy toys. And recorders are next level.
Montessori? More Like Monte-Sorry, We’re Not Doing That Anymore
When you have a newborn, it’s easy to say you’ll only let them play with wooden toys or eat whole, organic foods. But once they hit the toddler stage, it’s all zoning out to Paw Patrol and mainlining Goldfish.
We salute any parent still enforcing the wooden toy, no screens, fresh foods lifestyle. It’s not for the faint of heart.
It’s All Too Much, Susan!
Asking a parent if they’re ready for Christmas at any point is like asking a dog if he’s prepared to tap dance. It’s not even on their radar, Susan! They have lots of other things to worry about.
But on a side note, if there are any tap-dancing dogs out there, we would like to see them.
The Holiday Gauntlet Is Real
The holiday season is nonstop from October 31 to January 1 every year. And every single year, it surprises us, especially parents.
It’s like going into battle. And we don’t want to go into battle. We’re too tired!
Take That Rocket Ship To Buy Your Toddler Something They Actually Want
Kids change their minds at the snap of a finger. Luckily, if you’ve already bought them a rocket ship but they decide they don’t like it, you can board it and launch yourself into outer space.
Just kidding. Unless …
The Traditional Hanukkah Stocks
We love a kid who thinks long-term. Sure, socks would be nice right now. They’d provide foot protection for a few years. But stocks? Stocks can set you up for life.
With successful stocks, you can buy all the socks you want. That’s called smarts.
Can We All Sit At The Kids’ Table?
These days, the adults’ table can get entirely heated during get-togethers with extended family. We’ll thank politics and current events.
Meanwhile, things are peachy keen over at the kids’ table! They know that sharing is caring and everyone deserves to be listened to.
Kids Make Us Care
You could be a lifelong procrastinator and suddenly have all the drive in the world to do your holiday shopping because you have kids to buy presents for now.
Now if only that would translate to other areas of your life.
Holiday Sibling Rivalry Is Like None Other
It’s amazing that despite having the same parents, your kids will become their own, often very different people. And it’s an unspoken law that the one who loves Christmas will annoy the other one before it’s even December.
It’s the way of the world! That’s what siblings are for.
The Miracle of No Fighting
Two siblings playing together for two hours without fighting? It’s a Hanukkah miracle.
Now if only this miracle could last all eight nights … and all the other non-Hanukkah nights too.
Let’s “Make Gingerbread Houses” AKA Eat All The Sugar
When you try to build a gingerbread house with your kids, it inevitably turns into the messiest, most sugar-fueled endeavor you’ve all ever attempted.
And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Oh You Know, Just Casually Sharing Our Joys With Our Children
As parents, we love introducing the things we love to our children. The problem is that their reactions don’t always live up to our hopes and dreams.
It’s hard, but it’s OK if they don’t like Jurassic Park or The Princess Bride or Choose Your Own Adventure books. It’ll crush us, but it’ll be OK.
Moms Get Shafted At Christmas
Moms are notoriously hard to buy gifts for if you only know that they cook you meals, pack your lunches, and go grocery shopping.
To any kids, dads, or other parents out there reading this: Learn what the mom in your life actually likes! She has hobbies! Interests! Things she loves in addition to her family! And to any moms reading this: We know. We feel it, too.
The Christmas Nighttime Jitters Are Real
“Twas the Night Before Christmas” is a classic holiday poem, but it’s not entirely accurate, is it?
Whose kids stay nestled all snug in their beds until Christmas morning? Can we trade?
If You Give Kids Money, They Will Buy Doo Doo Kangaroo
You can teach kids all you want about responsible, appropriate ways to spend their money, but ultimately, they will buy what they want. And as their parent, you may not be thrilled with their decision.
Especially if their decision is Doo Doo Kangaroo. But what can you do (do)?
