If you have kids, you probably have a memory of their first days home, when you were overwhelmed and exhausted, and everyone you love wanted to help, but nobody quite knew what would help, so they showed up with toys the kid would barely be able to see, much less play with, for weeks if not longer. Meanwhile, what you wanted more than anything might have just been a nap.
Mom and podcaster Cameron Rogers is going viral after Today covered her tip to text a new mom offering a choice of ways to help: laundry, dishes, cooking, and other chores; holding baby so mom can sleep; or taking mom (with or without baby) out to lunch, among others.
What else do new moms want? Redditors collected answers, and they range from what should be obvious (diapers and sleep) to the unconventional.
Sleep Is The Most Obvious Answer
Maybe there are some moms out there with unicorn babies that let them rest and miracle postpartum healing that didn’t keep them physically uncomfortable and struggling for the first few days (or weeks…or more). Most of us, though, would have given almost anything for some uninterrupted sleep and then some more of it.
If you can help make this available to your friend, family member, or loved one, she’ll never forget it, and it will be the gift she raves about until that child graduates from college, if not longer. If she’s bottle-feeding, set yourself up on the couch with diapers and bottles and a good book or TV show and let her sleep. If she’s breastfeeding, take the baby between nursing.
Food, Plenty Of Food, Food She Doesn’t Have To Cook
One Redditor said:
“My friends put together a ‘meal train’ so we didn’t have to buy groceries or cook for a month. Everyone took a week and provided us with groceries and ready to heat meals. Can’t tell you how helpful that was!!! To not have to think about what to eat, nor worry about grocery shopping was such a humongous help!!!”
This is amazing, but if you can’t organize it on that level, consider gift cards for takeout or delivery or dropping off frozen meals.
Do The Dishes (Or Help Them Skip The Chore)
One of the top gifts Redditors named was housecleaning. A few suggested hiring a cleaning service, while others spoke of just stopping by to wash dishes for your friend.
However, for those short on time and cash, one commenter says that the next best thing is to provide some disposable dishes (assuming your friend isn’t too environmentally conscious to be comfortable with that). They said:
“Disposable plates, silverware, bowls, and cups. Even if you have a dishwasher, it always seems like you can never find time to do the dishes.”
Clean The Bathroom & Other Household Chores
Especially for a new mom whose postpartum healing is a larger struggle and limiting her mobility, offer to stop by and do some more serious cleaning. And yes, you may have to reassure her that accepting help is okay. One commenter said:
“I would have loved help around the house. I had a pretty difficult labour/delivery that left me in a bit of bad shape for a while. No one wants to clean the bathrooms but I wish someone would have insisted on doing it for me.”
Other tasks around the house that can be difficult after giving birth include those that involve heavy lifting, standing for long periods of time, or bending, like cleaning floors, taking out trash, or even doing laundry.
Create A Postpartum Kit
Everybody loves to buy cute onesies, teeny-tiny socks, headbands, and cuddly plush toys. Breastfeeding pads, nipple cream, hemorrhoid cream, and heavy-duty menstrual pads are less adorable and more likely to get overlooked, which means that the new mom on your list will be very glad someone thought of them.
You can throw in some fluffy socks and fancy chocolate or another special treat, or add a luxurious lotion, a nice dry shampoo, and even an eye mask to make it a little less utilitarian.
Diapers, In Varied Sizes And Diapering Accessories
I can attest to this one. When my son was born, my mother-in-law would bring a pack of diapers every time she visited. Sometimes they were the size he was currently wearing, and other times she’d bring bigger ones. We stashed the boxes under his crib and it was a joy to know that we would never find ourselves rushing to grab a package before the store closed.
Some Redditors added that they also greatly appreciated diapering accessories, including portable changing pads (remember the last time you unfolded one of those public bathroom diaper stations?), wipes, or a nice diaper caddy for the home changing table.
One caveat: check in first. Parental preference or babies’ individual sensitivities can restrict which brands work for a family.
Gift Cards Always Work
Gift cards are near the top of the list (along with cash) for new parents because they mean that your gift is whatever they need. Whether they find that they’re short on sleepers, diapers, formula, or a nasal aspirator or choose to put it toward a big-ticket item like a crib or stroller, a gift card will always be useful.
If you choose cash or one of the credit card-style gift cards that can be used anywhere, it can even provide a meal or gas for the trip to the baby’s first post-hospital pediatric visit. It is truly the ultimate catch-all gift.
Double-Zip Sleepers (Especially During Cold Weather)
This is one of the top baby products that appeared multiple times on Redditors’ lists. Adorable baby clothes are great, and if it makes you happy to buy adorable tiny dresses, tights, and little cowboy vests that say “Daddy’s little wrangler,” the new parents will surely appreciate them. If you want to step in with the items that are going to be used endlessly, though, these sleepers are a win.
Babies can live in sleepers for the first months of life, and using the reverse zip to change a diaper without completely undressing the infant is a little short of a miracle when it’s chilly. (As a parent whose kid had a feeding tube, I can attest that they’re pretty effective for that purpose, too—it was much harder for her to pull the tube out when it wasn’t routed through her collar, and she could stay fully dressed more easily.)
In fact, any variation of baby pajamas that allows easy bottom access is a boon — others have snaps on the inner legs, and those work too.
Baby’s First Medical Kit
Here’s another that’s not usually the top thought for gifters because it’s not as cute, but it can be a miracle for parents when they find themselves in need. Put together a selection of baby meds and soothers for illness, such as gas drops and infant Tylenol (both of which seem always to be needed after the store closes).
Other recommendations in this vein include a humidifier (which any parent who has spent a late hour standing in the bathroom running a hot shower to steam open baby’s nasal passages will appreciate), a Nose Frida, and Boogie Wipes. A thermometer and an infant medicine dispenser — the type with a nipple — are also great to include.
A Day Out — Spa Or Other Special Treatment
Parenting is stressful, and bringing home a newborn means being on call 24-7. One mom said:
“I don’t want any baby gifts, this is my third, I know what I need and I have what I need. I would however appreciate a gift card for a spa day or a massage.”
This harkens back to Cameron Rogers’ viral post. One of her offered options was to babysit while the new parents went out to eat together.
Almost any variation of a genuine break, some real ‘me time’ for the mom, will be greatly appreciated, and for most moms, it’s a very rare treat.
Nursing Basket
If your friend is breastfeeding, she will be spending hours every day sitting in one spot feeding her baby, especially during cluster feeding when it seems like the little one never wants to take a break. A nursing basket that’s convenient to keep near her favorite seat will make this easier.
Include bottled water, snacks that are easy to eat with one hand, tissues or wipes, and bra pads. Whining With Wine also recommends a milk saver — it’s essentially a container with a breastpump-style cone at the top for those times when a sudden milk letdown would otherwise pour usable ounces of milk into a nursing pad, wasted.
Care Or Outings For Older Kids
For those who are not a first-time parent, someone offering their time with the older children is a great gift. One Redditor expressed appreciation for the person who showed up to wash and pre-cut fruit for her toddler. Others spoke of taking the older kids for playdates, or to the park, or just babysitting.
Since older kids (especially when “older” still means preschool-aged) can feel very left out when a new baby is getting so much attention and so much of the parents’ time, anything that makes the bigger kids feel seen and loved is very helpful. It gives mom and dad a little extra time to focus on the new baby’s needs.
Space & Privacy
Some new moms want nothing but space and time alone. They’d like to spend their first few days (or weeks; one said next time, she’s asking for a month) with the baby without visits and without guilt trips about it.
Some of these moms still say they appreciate food delivery, as long as it comes without pressure to visit, and they’re happy to have their loved ones over later. Some also say they do appreciate close friends and family who will stop by and hold the baby for them to shower or rest.
However, they say they’d rather the larger social circle give them some time off rather than rush in immediately.