In 2020, COVID-19 hit the United States (and everywhere else) hard. By chance, this timing coincided with the last few years of a study that had been running for more than two decades, adding an amazing layer of data that researchers could never have expected when they started collecting information in 1998.

The result was that the study, already examining outcomes of two types of parenting, divided into the categories of “warm” and “harsh,” was also able to see how this played out in crisis.

Spoiler: Kids raised with warm parenting do better in a variety of metrics, including into adulthood. Who could have guessed?

What Is Warm Parenting, Anyway?

We hear a lot about authoritarian, gentle, permissive, helicopter, and uninvolved parenting. These are largely defined by the amount of control one exerts in parenting, while warmth vs. harshness is more about tone.

Warmth is about how the parent responds to the child’s needs and how they interact with love and support. You might set a firm rule that your child must be in bed by 8 p.m. Then you could either communicate that rule by explaining that they need sufficient sleep for their bodies to grow, hearing out their arguments, and being firm but loving and understanding, or you could scold and punish them for expressing dissent.

As you can see, the difference is less about the rules than the communication, support, and affirmation. EverydayPsych defines it like this:

“Parents with a ‘warm style’ tend to provide regular support for children, consistently affirming them and speaking to them in a friendly tone. On the contrary, a cold parenting style is marked by criticism and control, where the parent sets unforgiving guidelines on how the child should behave.”

A variety of studies over the years have affirmed that harsh punishments and fear-based parenting do harm, but the newest one is long-ranging and addresses a stressful time in the lives of young adults.

What If A Parent Employs Harsh Parenting For Some Stages & Warm Parenting For Others?

This study was actually set up to examine the effects of harsh parenting at different stages of development. Parents were asked to report their parenting habits at three points in the child’s life—at ages 3, 5, and 9. Then, the study followed the brain structure and mental health outcomes of these same kids into adulthood.

The researchers did find some differences, mainly in that harsh parenting in younger years had more widespread effects on brain structure, while later harshness changed the brain in more localized ways.

You’re reading that correctly: harsh parenting changed the structure of children’s brains, and in larger ways at younger ages.

The study looked at segregation and integration — how brain parts work together and separately. Researchers found greater brain-wide segregation when kids were faced with aggressive parenting behavior at younger ages.

Kids who faced aggressive parenting later showed reduced connectivity between the pre-frontal cortex and amygdala.

What Does All That Mean?

Harsh parenting — both physical and psychological aggression — in early childhood results in changes in the way the brain is organized by adolescence. These changes affect how the brain communicates with itself and could have lasting effects.

Aggressive parenting later, though, affects emotional processing. Communication between the amygdala and pre-frontal cortex (PFC) is reduced for these kids.

The amygdala processes emotions and assesses threats, while the PFC is involved with decision-making, risk assessment, and social behavior. In short, when these two parts work well and communicate well with one another, the brain’s owner can make the best decisions. When they’re not, those decisions might be based on incorrect assessments of threats and risks, resulting in physical or social harm.

What About Warm Parenting?

Warm parenting showed the most effects during middle childhood, between around six and around 12 years of age. Children who experienced warm parenting at these ages improved the amygdala’s connection to other parts of the brain.

Furthermore, when researchers followed up again during the COVID-19 pandemic, these now-adults showed less anxiety and depression. The researchers concluded that warmth given during childhood results in stronger mental health during later stressful times.

Does This Fit With Earlier Research?

Yes!

A 2014 study divided parenting styles into four categories: authoritarian, authoritative, indulgent, and neglectful. The authoritarian style prioritizes control and shows low levels of affection; authoritative still has firm rules but with flexibility and plenty of affection; indulgent may exercise little control at all but shows a lot of affection; and neglectful, of course, lacks both affection and control.

The study found that both high-affection parenting styles resulted in children who were less likely to struggle with substance abuse. RightStep explains:

“The researchers found that parents who were authoritarian (strict but not warm) and those who were neglectful (neither strict nor warm) were the most likely to have children who use alcohol, tobacco, and cannabis. In contrast, children with authoritative parents (strict but warm) or indulgent (not strict but warm) were at a lower risk for substance use.”

Another study, published in 2019, examined 20 years of data and considered the relationship between parental warmth and adult well-being. It used coping skills and eudaimonic well-being (a sense of purpose and meaning in life) as metrics — and concluded that parental warmth was connected to both of these.

What Does This Mean For Parents?

Parents can change the outcome of their kids’ lives by choosing to be warm and involved.

It doesn’t mean you have to change your parenting style or that you’re now obligated to be the indulgent parent described in the abovementioned study. It just means that if you aren’t sure your child is getting enough warmth, you could incorporate extra support and comfort as additional elements of parenting.

Ultimately, it means that there is evidence, in the form of MRI data, showing that the way you parent your child physically changes their brain and further proof that it could affect their mental health into adulthood.