A mother of two explained why she and her new husband decided not to live together full-time immediately after their wedding, saying she wanted her daughters and mother to have time to adjust to having a man in their home.
The TikTok creator, username JustCallMe_Rae and user ID @fashionablenerd, explained in her video that she and her two daughters shared a home she purchased with her mother. The family had lived together across generations since she was pregnant with her younger daughter.
The Mother Wanted Her Daughters to Adjust Before Her Husband Moved In
“So let me tell y’all something about my new marriage. I have been married for two weeks now and we do not have a traditional marriage,” she said.
The creator explained that her daughters grew up living with their mother and grandmother and had never had a man spend the night in their home.
“My children don’t know anything about that. This is their home. This is where they’re comfortable. This is their sanctuary,” she said.
Because of that, she wasn’t comfortable moving her husband in permanently without giving everyone time to adjust. She added that her husband also agreed with the arrangement.
He had a separate house in another city, where he stayed on the days he worked. When he was off, he came to stay with his wife and her family.
The couple planned to continue the arrangement for a few months until everyone felt comfortable with the transition.
Daughters and the Mother Were Already Enjoying the Arrangement
The creator said the arrangement had gone smoothly during its first two weeks. Her mother particularly enjoyed having her son-in-law around, while her older daughter had started noticing how having a man in the house changed some everyday responsibilities.
“My 18-year-old was talking about, ‘I feel my femininity coming back,’ cause she had to take out the trash,” the mother recalled.
She also shared how her husband helped when the family encountered a problem shortly after returning from their honeymoon. Their garage door broke, but instead of calling someone for repairs, her husband fixed it in less than 12 hours.
“My mama was so happy cause we didn’t have to call anybody; we didn’t have to do anything,” she said.
Her husband also helped with household chores. On a morning when he was not working, he cleaned out the refrigerator and thoroughly cleaned the kitchen. Her mother texted her about the work while she was at her job.
“I said, he’s earning his keep,” the creator joked.
The Couple Agreed to Give the Family Time to Adjust
The mother emphasized that the decision wasn’t about keeping her husband away, but about respecting the people who already shared the home.
She wanted her mother to feel comfortable because it was her home too. She was equally concerned about her daughters, who had never had a man staying overnight in their house.
“I was not going to just spring this on them when they used to walk around however they want to,” she explained.
She said the family had been handling the transition well and expressed gratitude that she and her husband had agreed to introduce the change gradually.
The creator did not describe the arrangement as permanent. Instead, she said they planned to continue it for a few months before deciding how to move forward.
For the newly married couple, the arrangement offered a way to build their life together while giving the rest of the family time to adjust to the change.
Viewers Reacted to the Approach
The video received mixed reactions, with people supporting her and some suggesting that if roles were reversed, the man would be called names.
One viewer said, “As a mom with a teen, I refuse to move any man in my house with my teen. This is HER house and her sanctuary.”
Another said, “You should live with him in his house; leave your house to your mom and kids. Don’t keep footing the bills.”
Another user supported this view and commented, “I would leave your daughter with your mom, who is their grandmother and I will move in with my husband and you go visit them when you can.”
One even said, “Multigenerational matriarchal households are the most spectacular to grow in. I will never forget when my mom decided to move her man in, kicking our grandmother out in the process. Family started falling apart immediately.”
