# attachment[].name
Several girls giggle and talk while another sits excluded a short distance away

# content
The Friendless Zone: Most Parents Say Their Kids Need More Friendship

ArturVerkhovetskiy/Depositphotos.com

Is your kid suffering from a shortage of friends? If you say yes, you’re in good company: a new survey shows that almost one in five parents says their kid has no friends or not enough, and 90% say their kid would like to have more friends.

If all these kids seek friendship, why aren’t they finding each other? It turns out that social anxieties, parent preferences, and time crunches all play a role.

Fortunately, there are ways parents can help.

Almost 1 In 5 Kids Is Suffering Friendship Deficit

A study by C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital asked parents of kids between the ages of 6 and 12—so Generation Alpha—about their kids’ friendships. The results are devastating, with 19% of parents saying their kids have either no friends or too few friends and a full 90% saying their kids would like to have more friends.

Parents were also asked why their kids didn’t have more friends. The top response is that the child is socially anxious (21%), followed closely by insufficient free time (18%). About 1 in 6 parents said there isn’t anywhere for their kids to meet up with friends, and many more say their kids feel excluded from already-built friend groups. Several (7%) even say their kid is being excluded based on disability or medical condition.

Many of these parents (71%) are actively working to correct this for their kids, enrolling them in activities, setting up play dates, and trying to connect with other parents who have kids in the same age range.

This Is An Ongoing Problem For Kids (And Adults)

This isn’t a new phenomenon that has developed out of post-pandemic America or from changes in parenting styles, though. An examination of 2016 data by Minnesota’s State Health Data Assistance Center shows a similar pattern. The kids in this study would generally fall under Gen Z.

See also  Can You Dye Your Hair While Pregnant?

In that survey, 21% of kids nationally said they had difficulty making or keeping friends, and some states had higher numbers, particularly Montana (30%) and West Virginia, Maine, Idaho, and Kentucky (all around 27%).

Gen Z’s predecessors, Millenials, are all now in their late twenties to early forties, and according to data from a 2019 YouGov survey, we’re still having trouble building and maintaining friendships. So maybe this is just becoming the human condition.

(By the way, Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends & Influence People was published in 1936, and though its content might have been more about influencing others than friendship, the title placed on the bestseller list the same year it was published and stayed there for two years.)

If Every Generation Suffers This, Does It Matter?

Unfortunately, the answer is yes.

Aside from the obvious fact that it’s just kind of miserable to be lonely and not feel like you have friends, studies have shown it can have impacts on mental health into adulthood. A 2015 study published by the National Center for Biotechnology Information concluded:

“We studied the prospective association between childhood friendships and psychological difficulties in young adulthood…Young adults who had no childhood friends had higher odds of psychological difficulties than those with at least one friend…Social relations early in life may have consequences for adult psychological well-being.”

How Can We Help Our Kids?

The parents in the new study named some ways they’re working to help their kids, including setting up playdates, getting the kids involved in activities where they can meet others with shared interests, and coaching them on friend-making.

See also  What's Going On With Maternal Mental Health? Only 1 In 4 Moms Report Being Mentally Well

Parenting Science has offered a list of evidence-based tips that can also help. Many of them center on our own relationships with our kids.

Kids who have been raised with loving, connected relationships are better at making new connections, so they advise parents to be nurturing and avoid authoritarianism, guilt trips, and shaming, all of which are linked to more problem behaviors and the development of poor-quality relationships.

Instead, they advise helping your kid understand their emotions, empathize with others, and feel secure and loved. Parents should also work with kids on problem behaviors and practice dealing with uncomfortable situations.

One more tip: when you enroll your kid in an activity, consider looking for one that involves cooperative rather than competitive play. That doesn’t mean team sports are out! They can very much be about cooperation!

#friendship #mentalHealth

# contentMap.en
The Friendless Zone: Most Parents Say Their Kids Need More Friendship

ArturVerkhovetskiy/Depositphotos.com

Is your kid suffering from a shortage of friends? If you say yes, you’re in good company: a new survey shows that almost one in five parents says their kid has no friends or not enough, and 90% say their kid would like to have more friends.

If all these kids seek friendship, why aren’t they finding each other? It turns out that social anxieties, parent preferences, and time crunches all play a role.

Fortunately, there are ways parents can help.

Almost 1 In 5 Kids Is Suffering Friendship Deficit

A study by C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital asked parents of kids between the ages of 6 and 12—so Generation Alpha—about their kids’ friendships. The results are devastating, with 19% of parents saying their kids have either no friends or too few friends and a full 90% saying their kids would like to have more friends.

Parents were also asked why their kids didn’t have more friends. The top response is that the child is socially anxious (21%), followed closely by insufficient free time (18%). About 1 in 6 parents said there isn’t anywhere for their kids to meet up with friends, and many more say their kids feel excluded from already-built friend groups. Several (7%) even say their kid is being excluded based on disability or medical condition.

Many of these parents (71%) are actively working to correct this for their kids, enrolling them in activities, setting up play dates, and trying to connect with other parents who have kids in the same age range.

This Is An Ongoing Problem For Kids (And Adults)

This isn’t a new phenomenon that has developed out of post-pandemic America or from changes in parenting styles, though. An examination of 2016 data by Minnesota’s State Health Data Assistance Center shows a similar pattern. The kids in this study would generally fall under Gen Z.

See also  13 Free Resources For Pregnancy, Postpartum, Parenting, And Loss

In that survey, 21% of kids nationally said they had difficulty making or keeping friends, and some states had higher numbers, particularly Montana (30%) and West Virginia, Maine, Idaho, and Kentucky (all around 27%).

Gen Z’s predecessors, Millenials, are all now in their late twenties to early forties, and according to data from a 2019 YouGov survey, we’re still having trouble building and maintaining friendships. So maybe this is just becoming the human condition.

(By the way, Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends & Influence People was published in 1936, and though its content might have been more about influencing others than friendship, the title placed on the bestseller list the same year it was published and stayed there for two years.)

If Every Generation Suffers This, Does It Matter?

Unfortunately, the answer is yes.

Aside from the obvious fact that it’s just kind of miserable to be lonely and not feel like you have friends, studies have shown it can have impacts on mental health into adulthood. A 2015 study published by the National Center for Biotechnology Information concluded:

“We studied the prospective association between childhood friendships and psychological difficulties in young adulthood…Young adults who had no childhood friends had higher odds of psychological difficulties than those with at least one friend…Social relations early in life may have consequences for adult psychological well-being.”

How Can We Help Our Kids?

The parents in the new study named some ways they’re working to help their kids, including setting up playdates, getting the kids involved in activities where they can meet others with shared interests, and coaching them on friend-making.

See also  The CDC Says A Significant Number Of Teens Are Still Struggling With Mental Health

Parenting Science has offered a list of evidence-based tips that can also help. Many of them center on our own relationships with our kids.

Kids who have been raised with loving, connected relationships are better at making new connections, so they advise parents to be nurturing and avoid authoritarianism, guilt trips, and shaming, all of which are linked to more problem behaviors and the development of poor-quality relationships.

Instead, they advise helping your kid understand their emotions, empathize with others, and feel secure and loved. Parents should also work with kids on problem behaviors and practice dealing with uncomfortable situations.

One more tip: when you enroll your kid in an activity, consider looking for one that involves cooperative rather than competitive play. That doesn’t mean team sports are out! They can very much be about cooperation!

#friendship #mentalHealth

# icon.name
Several girls giggle and talk while another sits excluded a short distance away

# image.name
Several girls giggle and talk while another sits excluded a short distance away