Can you imagine your childhood self, hauling off and taking a swing at your parent? Can you imagine your child doing the same to you?
A new data release from a long-running study finds that as many as one in three kids have, at least once, taken out physical aggression towards their parents, and for some of them, the pattern continues into adulthood. Parents may feel ashamed or afraid to speak up about these incidents.
The study identified three major risk factors and a few protective factors that can reduce the likelihood of your child falling into these statistics.
Here’s What The Data Shows
The data is drawn from a longitudinal study in Switzerland, the Zurich Project on Social Development from Childhood to Adulthood. Researchers have been collecting data from more than 1,500 participants since 2004, and the newly released data focuses on adolescents and young adults who exhibit physical aggression (hitting, kicking, or throwing objects) toward their parents.
The numbers are rather stunning.
“Nearly one-third of participants (32.5 percent) acknowledge at least one episode of physical aggression toward their parents between the ages of 11 and 24, for instance involving hitting, kicking or throwing objects. This behavior peaks at age 13, when roughly 15% of respondents reported aggressive incidents.”
Most of these participants describe their aggressive behavior as a one-time incident, about about 40% of those who admit they got physical with a parent say that it happened more than once. Male participants were more likely than female participants to say that they had at least one incident of physical aggression against a parent at all age groups.
Harsh Parenting Is A Significant Factor
The study found that kids who were subjected to “harsh parenting” were more likely to carry out physical acts of aggression on their parents.
However, it did not quantify “harsh parenting.” That makes it hard to identify whether any significant percentage of these cases are children retaliating after being hit, or whether the violence is unprovoked. It does stand as one more data point that harsh and authoritarian parenting rarely teaches good conflict resolution and emotional stability.
Researchers also found a correlation with interparental conflict. Kids who witness their parents in conflict are more likely to report being physically aggressive. Again, because the study didn’t strictly define the type of “conflict,” we don’t know whether the kids who reported hitting and kicking their parents have witnessed physical violence between their adults, or merely hostility and ongoing disagreements.
The last factor that was noted was ADHD symptoms, which the researchers note can reduce self-control.
The Study Also Found Protective Factors
Some factors in a child’s life appear to correlate with less risk of physical violence. The study examined several behavioral and interpersonal factors that could have positive effects.
“Behavioral protective factors included stress coping abilities (i.e., low aggressive conflict coping and competent conflict coping) and emotional well-being. Interpersonal protective factors included relationship resources such as parental involvement, teacher bonding, and class bonding.”
Of these, only competent conflict coping and parental involvement stood out as statistically significant factors reducing aggression from child to parent.
Where Do Researchers See Cause For Concern?
Researchers aren’t too concerned about cases where a child, particularly in adolescence, has a single aggressive incident towards parents.
However, those who carry out repeated physical aggression raise concerns. These are cases where intervention may be necessary, ranging from counseling to correction to shifts in parenting styles.
Also, cases in which physical aggression persists beyond adolescence into adulthood are of particular concern. (The oldest participants in the study are in their early 20’s currently; there are planned follow-ups beyond.)
Researchers worry that those who continue exhibiting physical attacks towards parents into adulthood are more likely to develop a pattern of violence.
What Should Parents Do?
If your child has an incident of physical aggression towards you, talk about it. Start by having a conversation with your child, explaining that hurting each other is not an acceptable way to resolve conflict.
If you need outside intervention, don’t be ashamed or afraid to seek it. Speak to your child’s pediatrician for a recommendation for counseling, or use a domestic violence hotline to find resources local to you.
When your child is young, work on conflict resolution techniques and forging strong connections.
If you feel that you are in physical danger, whether from a minor child, an adult offspring, or any other person, you deserve to be safe, and it’s okay to reach out for support and protection.