Experts say staying calm, preserving evidence, and reviewing privacy settings can help keep kids safe.
Last year, I allowed my 8-year old to use one of my old smartphones to play games on. I wiped the phone clean, disabled everything that connects to the internet that I could find and set up every parental control the device would allow. I thought I had covered all the bases, but still, the inevitable happened and a stranger contacted my child in a game.
Now, it’s possible this was a an in-game bot, or something perfectly innocent, but having grown up with the internet it immediately sent a chill down my spine. While an unexpected message isn’t always dangerous, experts and say parents should respond quickly, calmly, and thoughtfully to protect their child while keeping communication open.
Stay Calm and Take Immediate Action
The first step is reassuring your child that they are not in trouble. According to Alberta Health Services, children are much more likely to report uncomfortable online interactions when they know they won’t be blamed or punished. The organization advises parents to encourage open conversations and remind kids they can always come to a trusted adult if something online makes them uncomfortable.
The Child Rescue Coalition recommends documenting everything before taking action. Parents should take screenshots of messages, usernames, profiles, and timestamps, then block and report the account through the platform rather than deleting the conversation. The organization emphasizes Do not delete the messages, because they may become important evidence if law enforcement needs to investigate.
Look for Warning Signs Before You Panic
Not every message from an unfamiliar player is cause for alarm. According to the Better Internet for Kids initiative, parents should review the context of the conversation to determine whether it was harmless gameplay or something more concerning. Red flags include requests for personal information, encouragement to keep conversations secret, invitations to move to private messaging apps, or offers of gifts and in-game rewards.
Experts also recommend reviewing your child’s friends list and recent contacts. Removing unknown users and discussing who they regularly communicate with can help parents identify risky interactions before they escalate.
Strengthen Privacy Settings Before Problems Start
Preventing unwanted contact often starts with adjusting privacy settings. The Beau Biden Foundation encourages families to disable public text and voice chat where possible, limit direct messaging, and use parental controls that allow children to communicate only with approved real-life friends. The foundation also advises choosing usernames that don’t reveal a child’s real name, age, or gender.
The organization urges parents to remember that online safety starts with ongoing conversations, not one-time talks. Parents are encouraged to regularly review games, apps, and privacy settings together with their children.
While no safety measure is foolproof, combining open communication, careful supervision, and strong privacy controls can dramatically reduce the risks children face online—and help them feel confident coming to a parent if something doesn’t seem right.
In my kid’s case, it turned to be harmless, but that surprise and immediate fear will stay with me for a long time. While I wish that my kids could be free to have unlimited fun online with their friends the reality of the situation says otherwise and constant vigilance is the admission cost to the online universe.
