Tiny Tyrants: Parents Spill On The Allowance Experience

girl at table with stacks of coins and bills
girl at table with stacks of coins and bills
PanthersMediaSeller/Depositphotos.com

Being granted a weekly allowance can be a learning experience for kids. It helps them practice budgeting, planning ahead, and comparing values and prices. Earning an allowance also teaches lessons about the value of one’s time and labor.

The negotiation process, though, teaches parents just how much their kids already know about the world, money, and the art of the con. Some parents featured here found ways to push back, while others accept their young overlords and fork over what they’re told they owe.

What’s An Allowance, Anyway?

7: hey why don't we get an allowance? don't most kids get an allowance?

me: no that's not a real thing

7: oh
Twitter/@dadmann_walking

This dad decided to delay the whole process as long as possible by telling his son that allowances aren’t accurate. However, this tactic may not last once the kid starts comparing notes with his classmates unless Dad is sneaky enough to get the rest of the parents on board.

In the meantime, we must wonder whether Dad is using similar tricks to save money on Christmas and Easter. (Hey, kid, Santa is real, no matter what anyone tells you!)

The Bank Said It First

Teen: mom when can I have some allowance 

Me: things are kinda tight 

Teen: but I still get one tho right

Me: PAYMENT STATUS NOT AVAILABLE
Twitter/@thebabylady7

This mom chose a similar option, but she was honest about it. First, she clearly explained to her teenager that money was tight, but before she could get into details about being unable to fork over any cash just now, the kid asked again.

So yeah, mom resorted to a shut-down tactic. The payment is unavailable now, and we have no information to share about when or if it will be available. Sorry, kid.

Educational Opportunities

My teenager asked for a bigger allowance “because of inflation” and I said no because of supply chain issues.
Twitter/TheDad

You have to appreciate it when your kids show that they’re aware of the world around them. They’re keeping up with current events, political realities, and the news — or maybe they’re just noticing that the cost of soda and cookies has gone up again.

Either way, offering some educational material and economic context is an excellent opportunity. In this case (note that the tweet is from 2021, as COVID-19 still affected businesses and manufacturing), Dad explains that inflation is related to supply chains — and the cash supply has run dry.

Seize The Opportunity

I taught my kids about inflation and now I’m embroiled in an acrimonious allowance negotiation.
Twitter/@BrianBrenberg

Beware, though! When kids get a little information and education, they tend to apply it directly to their own lives, experiences, needs, and wants.

As the old saying says, if you give a child an allowance, you provide him with Doritos, Mountain Dew, and video games for a week. Still, if you teach him about inflation, workers’ rights, minimum wage, and the effects of unchecked capitalism, you’ll drive him to protest and demand better circumstances.

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Generational Expectations

My son asked if I got an allowance as a kid. 

I said yeah…my mom allowed me to stay in the house rent free and eat every night.
Twitter/@lecrae

Allowances are a generational idea, and older generations love to let their kids know they grew up without one. You see, they were walking to school barefoot in the snow uphill both ways.

Okay, an allowance isn’t exactly an affordable expense for every household, but providing shelter and food is sort of the bare minimum of what parents are required to do, so maybe it’s not exactly what we want to hold over our kids’ heads as the ultimate privilege or “allowance.”

Overstepping The Bounds

14yo made 4.6 GPA for 1st semester of HS, so I gave him $40 for his savings to build a gamer PC, countering all my training that kids earn good grades for food+shelter. Boy said I was "indulging in capitalist excess," but also asked if he was still gon get his regular allowance👀
Twitter/@UjuAnya

By contrast, this mom decided to defy that generational norm. Just because she had been taught that shelter and food are enough of a reward for hard work and good grades, she wasn’t going to impose that same view on her son. No, she was going to hand him a chunk of cash to help him achieve a savings goal because he did so well in school.

And he hit her with a scolding about “capitalist excess.” Child, you have to learn when to bring these topics up, and when to say, “Thank you, Mama,” and put it in your pocket.

Errors In Judgment

My 8yo folding laundry: Hey Mom! Is this huge underwear yours?

So, my husband will be pleased we'll be saving a lot of money on allowance.
Twitter/@AngryRaccoon2

On one hand, maybe you should be happy you have a kid folding laundry. And heck, he’s even making sure he gets it sorted into the correct ownership, which anyone who’s ever reached into their underwear drawer and pulled out a wrong-sized pair will surely appreciate.

On the other hand, there’s a great opportunity here to take a break from educating this child on financial matters and insert a powerful lesson on tact. When folding laundry, we do not opine on other people’s undergarments!

Mutual Respect

Today my daughter left me on read all day when I asked her a simple question, so I hope she’s not angry when I leave her allowance in our checking account for her simple chores.
Twitter/@sweetmomissa

One thing kids can forget is that while they should absolutely feel confident and safe relying on their parents, they also have certain obligations in return. Sure, kids are human, and sometimes, you see a text, intend to answer it later, and then forget.

But when Mom is texting and needs an answer, maybe it’s a good idea to remember she not only pays for the cell service but also holds the purse strings on allowances and other goodies. Just shoot her back a quick answer.

Working For The Weekend

I offered my oldest additional allowance money to vacuum rugs, which the kid jumped at.

Why haven't I been doing this already?

WHY.
Twitter/@kelly_j_baker

In many households, allowances hinge on chore completion. Parents who aren’t currently implementing an allowance system may want to consider passing off a particularly unappealing household task (at a developmentally appropriate level, of course!) to their kid.

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It’s a win-win situation: either the kid does the chore you hate the most, and you still come off as the hero for handing him a pile of cash, or if he doesn’t do the chore, you get to keep your money.

Negotiation Skills

My 11 y/o daughter wanted an allowance so we started negotiating a chores list but she put up her hand after a couple minutes and said, “Okay, this is great, but like when do we work in some self-care here?” Kids always know who to put first.
Twitter/@Dad_At_Law

This kid has fired up her negotiation skills and is looking out for number one! When she enters the workforce, employers had better watch out because she will not be accepting pizza in the breakroom once a month as the definition of employment benefits.

And realistically, in a world where we’re all working ourselves to death and mental health crises are hitting teens before they even make it to adulthood, this kid has the right idea. She’s willing to do the work, but she’s also going to take care of herself, and maybe we should all strive to live up to her example.

The Master Negotiator

My 8yo outlined all the chores she had done this week, demanded her allowance, then marched over and handed me my wallet.

She's available if you need a pep talk before your next salary negotiation.
Twitter/@copymama

Here’s a kid who knows what her work is worth. She isn’t letting anyone downplay what she’s done for this organization, er, household. She’s putting in the effort and keeping track of every detail.

She won’t be accepting late paychecks, false promises, or excuses from any future boss, and when she’s due for a promotion, her employers will know exactly why she’s the woman for the role. She will be the one running the meetings, and there will be elaborate PowerPoint presentations.

Value Of Labor

My son did all his chores this morning without being asked, he must want something, and it’s probably expensive.
Twitter/@Parentpains

Experts have mixed opinions on tying allowances to chores, and every parent should make that decision in the way that works best for their child and their household. However, when we do see good arguments against linking chores and money, it usually centers on a concern that kids will start to see taking care of household duties as transactional.

In this case, it’s the parent who has made that connection, and maybe he’s panicking just a little bit. The house is clean and the teenager is on his best behavior. It seems like a miracle — but at what cost?

Thoughtful Children

My son asked for an advance on his allowance and I slowly agreed cause I thought it was gonna be for video games, but 20 minutes later he said he was headed to the store to get something for me for Mother’s Day 🥹
Twitter/@tsu_namee

Sometimes, though, your kid is all heart. In this case, a mom thought she was getting started in a cycle of never-ending cash advances, and instead, she got a thoughtful, loving gift from her sweet son.

Okay, granted, there’s no follow-up, so we don’t know whether she got a box of chocolates or a new video game controller that conveniently happens to be exactly what her son needed, followed by an immediate request to borrow it, but under the circumstances, why not assume the best.

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Retroactive Payments

We settled on a $10/week allowance for the kid. 

“It’s almost Friday, and your allowance!” 

Kid: “Don’t forget last week’s. And for the last 5 years I’ve been in school.”
Twitter/@AllThingsCivil

Here’s an intelligent child. He met with his parents, negotiated an agreement, and then attempted to enforce retroactive payments. After all, he’s not interested in being cheated out of a few thousand dollars!

Judging by the handle and bio, the parent seems well-versed in law and related matters. It’s a safe bet that even if the kid doesn’t follow his parents into the legal profession, he’ll at least be the sort of adult who remains aware of his rights and keeps the labor board on speed dial.

Inflated Sense Of Wealth

My daughter is insisting I buy twitter and has offered to help pay for it with her allowance money so either she thinks her parents are billionaires or her allowance is way too high
Twitter/@reallifemommy3

After this tweet, Twitter sold for about 44 billion dollars, so this kid reached for the sky. Maybe she can try again in a few years. In the meantime, her mom might want to sit down with her and do some extra math practice, maybe with place values, to cover the difference between $4 and $44 billion.

It’s pretty standard for kids to imagine that their parents have heaps and piles of money — after all, they’re always paying for food, gas, rent or mortgage, and so on. Adults, on the other hand, know that’s precisely why they’re broke.

Ready For The SAT

My kid: I suck at math. 

Also my kid: If you raise my allowance by 52.7% for the next 7 weeks, then I'll be able to afford that pair of Air Jordan 4s I want.
Twitter/@sarcasticmommy4

Allowances have been teaching kids math skills long before Minecraft became a game. In this case, maybe this child isn’t feeling it when the teacher tries to explain right angles and how to determine the length of a hypotenuse, but he has no problem doing the math when it matters to him.

After all, isn’t that what Montessori schools and some homeschoolers have been advocating? Make the subject matter relevant and interesting to a kid, and you couldn’t keep him from learning it if you tried.

Keep Your Sense Of Humor

My 10yo just asked me for his allowance and sang “I like big bucks and I cannot lie” and I know I’m not supposed to like this as his parent but I do, I really do
Twitter/@IHideFromMyKids

The best thing about being a parent is the kids. How else will you get this kind of entertainment — a live performance in your own home, at that?

Bonus points if you’ve raised kids whose sense of humor involves referencing songs from your formative years. That’s always a win. Don’t get too excited, though. The next step is probably the same kid telling you those songs are “outdated” and “oldies” or “classics” from “the nineteen hundreds.”