I’ve just put my kids in public school after years of homeschooling, and I’m sensitive about how they’re adjusting, so I ask many specific questions in the afternoon. I always try to ask what the best and worst parts of their day were, then u-turn them back to positive by asking about the second-best part.
I’ve also been asking about specific things, like whether their classmates seem nice and what they did in math. But this TikToker has dropped some excellent suggestions for questions to get a fuller picture of your child’s day.
Check them out and see how they work with your kids!
“How Was Your Day” Is Too Open-Ended
When you ask your kid, “How was your day?” They have eight hours worth of disparate experiences to try to cram into one answer. While to us, this sounds like an invitation to give us any and all information, they’re in a spot where they’ve just had a day crammed with good, bad, and neutral experiences. They may be overstimulated and exhausted, and isolating any specific moments in the day is hard to do.
If you are aware of specific things that were expected today or that your kid is dealing with, of course, you can address those — “How was the math test?” “Was lunch okay?” “Did you tell that kid to stop kicking your desk? How did that go?” — but even if not, you can still ask specific questions that will give you a clear image of their day.
First, Search For Smiles
A viral TikTok from @themotherhoodkit recommends that the first question is, “What made you smile today?”
It’s a good way to get straight to something they really enjoyed or something that made them happy. If it has been a stressful day or even if they’re just worn out, it can be really easy to focus on the worst parts of the day so hard that your kids forget there even were any good parts, so focusing straight in on the best parts of the day is a great trick to make sure they have positive things on their minds.
The Most Important Part Of Lunch: The Company
I’ve been asking my kids about lunch, but my focus has been on whether they had enough time to eat and whether they had enough in their lunch boxes. This TikToker pointed out something I hadn’t thought of: the social aspect of lunch.
Her advice? Ask your child who they sat next to at lunch. That will give you insight on who they’re building friendships with, and they’ll very likely pour out more information, like whether seats are assigned, whether they also sit next to the same kid in the classroom, and how the lunchroom dynamics run.
Encourage Looking For The Good
We all remember Mr. Rogers saying that children should be encouraged to “look for the helpers ” in times of disaster and upheaval, right?
That can apply to school, too. It’s a strange place where kids have little control over their lives, schedules, and people around them. They can, though, look for people being nice and remember to be one of the people being kind themselves.
Themotherhoodkit suggests asking, “Did you see any acts of kindness today, and if so, what were they?”
This will encourage them to be kind and seek out the kind people who are, and you’ll gain additional insight into their classroom dynamics.
Watching For What Not To Do
The next question themotherhoodkit suggests is, “Did you see any acts of people being unkind, and what did that look like?”
Notice the slightly different wording here. We’re asking kids to describe acts of kindness, but we’re asking a bigger question about acts of unkindness. “What did that look like?” invites them to consider the reaction of the person who was on the receiving end of the unkindness and whether anyone else seemed to notice or step in.
In this case, you’re not just asking them to spill the tea; you’re asking them to recognize how their unkindness affected others and whether the adults in charge noticed or if anyone else stepped up.
End On A Positive Note
Finally, like my one question, themotherhoodkit advises returning to something positive. Never leave your kids dangling on a negative note if you can help it!
“What part of the day made you super happy?”
There are no right or wrong answers to these questions, but there are certainly answers that will raise red flags for parents, others that will fill them with joy, and others that just open an avenue for being the best support person for their babies.
The Viral Video
Below, you can watch the TikTok with so many moms saying that this might finally land them answers more expansive than “it was normal” and “I don’t know, I forgot.”
One mom even returned to report that her child said, “Momma, I like these questions better than ‘How was lunch,'” so here’s hoping they work out for you, too!
