We all love our kids, but almost no one loves the sound of an instrument being played badly. This is especially true if we’re listening while practice is underway, which necessitates hearing for long periods.

Sending elementary-aged kids home with recorders is a longstanding tradition for the purpose of encouraging music appreciation and inviting our youngest students to explore their creative talents. Parents may appreciate this, but it can still drive them up the wall!

Here’s what parents have to say about their kids’ exploration of recorders, other wind instruments, guitars, drums, and more!

This Isn’t What They Meant By “Siren Song”

At least when kids are practicing their assigned songs, something (probably) is coming out that sounds (sort of, hopefully) like music. If your kid decides to try out siren sounds or blow tunelessly through the thing, that’s an entirely different story.

Aside from the noise itself and the inability to listen to music, television, or even your own thoughts, we’re rather socialized to go on alert for siren sounds. When they’re real, this is a valuable reaction, making sure we get out of the way if an ambulance needs to pass on the road, for example, but if it was just constant in your house, it would be absolutely nerve-wracking.

The Noise, Noise, Noise!

Even a behavior specialist, who actually deals with some of the kids’ more difficult behaviors for a living and probably has heard kids make plenty of sounds ranging from angry to distressed, found a roomful of kids playing recorders to be too much and told the school principal so!

It’s a reminder that teachers are heroes, and elementary music teachers are particularly deserving of respect for not only surviving but embracing recorder season year after year and continuing to pass the instruments out to a whole classroom full of our kids.

Exploding With Joy (Or Frustration)

Some parents, like this one, absolutely are so done with the sound of a recorder that they can’t bear to even listen to one deliberate performance for 3-4 minutes. Since they still adore their kids, they’re careful not to let on that the sound of a recorder is unbearable.

After all, there’s no reason to damage the child’s self-esteem. She can always perform her song on Monday for her music teacher, who will likely be delighted and prepared to offer corrections.

Supportive Parenting Pays Off, But In The Meantime…

Even supportive parents can admit, in private, that it’s excruciating to hear the sound of practice before the young performer builds up that skill set. Still, they throw their entire support behind the kiddo, purchasing instruments and cheering.

Hopefully since this particular young musician is playing in an orchestra, they’ll be doing a lot of their practice together with the group, and the parents won’t be exposed to too much of the initial struggle sounds.

That Was Not A Boss Move, Boss

Okay, kids assigned a recorder for school don’t have much choice. They’re expected to practice, and it’s part of their grade. They also have a teacher who is helping them learn how to make actual notes and arrange them in an order that is hopefully, if not quite appealing, at least minimally unpleasant!

When it’s a four-year-old, though, and she’s handed it by someone on the periphery of her daily life? Someone who is not going to teach her how to make it bearable? And who will not have to listen to her daily as she improves (or doesn’t)? That’s just cruel.

Practice Makes Perfect But Cooperation Makes Quiet

Adults today know just how much their childhood playing got on their parents’ nerves. In this case, one former child musician even exploited her dad’s dislike of the sound of her clarinet to get away with skipping practice! (Our parents were not quite so gentle on our feelings a generation or so ago, were they?)

Here’s the bad news for her: even if she got his signature attesting that she practiced nightly, her music teacher or band leader could probably tell when she did due diligence and skipped her practices.

Now All Your Thoughts Are To This Tune

“Baby shark, doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo….”

You’ve heard it on YouTube and on Cocomelon. Then it was added to your kids’ car singalong playlist. And now, there are multiple kids playing it on different instruments in the same house? Do you suppose they also play simultaneously, each with slightly different timing? That would be a recipe for parental insanity.

On the other hand, at least these kids are playing well enough that the parents can recognize the song!

A Musical Performance With Your Meal

Honestly, this is the problem. Just like kids spend all day at school and come home ready for a break, parents spend the whole day working, then fixing meals, chasing kids down to get homework done, and handling house chores.

Just when they’re ready to settle down and have some quiet, it’s suddenly time for kids to come in for the evening and do their practicing. Just figuring out some better timing (or soundproofing) would probably make things much easier.

Did He Inherit The Musical Talent?

Again, there are some things you don’t give someone else’s child without prior approval. These include certain art supplies (you can finger-paint with them at your house), pets (unless you’re walking the puppy, feeding the puppy, taking the puppy to the vet, and keeping it at home), and musical instruments.

Maybe this father-in-law figures he survived his son’s time playing the trumpet, and his son and daughter-in-law will be fine too. Then again, the original owner of this trumpet probably received it when he was old enough to take lessons.

Teach That Kid To Play A Reville

When I suggested that working out better timing might ease the parental struggle with instrument practice, I did not mean anyone should practice a recorder at 6:30 am.

Andy Kim probably did not have that in mind when his kid took up the recorder. At the same time, you have to appreciate the work ethic here. How many of us could get our kids to do anything that fell under “practice” or “homework” that early in the morning?

You Can Always Make Things Worse

This fella woke up and chose violence. This goes beyond telling an upset spouse they’re “overreacting” or to “calm down.” Imagine catching someone distraught and deciding it’s time to not only expose them to an irritating sound but one they can’t really stop or send away without hurting a kid’s feelings.

This will not make the wife any happier or soothe her feelings over whatever disagreement she and her husband have had.

Can you hear the recorder from the couch or the spare room? Asking for a Twitter user.

Explain To Your Child That Distracted Driving Is Illegal

Kids have fantastic timing, and by that, I mean they have perfected the art of timing the utterly shocking and unexpected question, a banshee wail, or in this case, a recorder, for the very moment that a parent needs all their mental powers for concentration on the task at hand.

As moms, we know we even turn down the radio to see better when looking for an address, and that’s music we chose to drive to on purpose! Trying to merge, turn left, or parallel park with a recorder playing in the backseat sounds like torture.

Putting All That Talent To Good Use

Here’s a change of pace. Sometimes a kid’s instrument practice is very beneficial. This mom, during the COVID pandemic when so many of us were working from home and dialing in for Zoom calls that could have been emailed, found a way to let her teenager help her.

She just shot him a text asking him to play his drums and then presumably told her boss, or whoever was leading the meeting, that she’d have to log off since she could no longer hear! Thus proving that even the loudest and most obnoxious noise can have great benefits.

A Set. A Whole Set. That’s A Lot Of Bad Decisions At Once

I don’t know about you, but when I read “a set of musical instruments’ what comes to mind is the ones where there are plastic maracas, a cheap recorder, a tambourine, and maybe a triangle, all packed inside a container that doubles as a drum.

This, if so, is a whole different category of sound than any real instrument. These were designed to be toys, bright-colored and noisy, and to familiarize kids with the idea of real instruments. They were never designed to sound good, just to provide an outlet for energy and absolute noise.

Which is great for kids, awful for ears.

Beauty Is In The Ear Of The Beholder?

Is this kid criticizing her own musical skills or the sounds that come out of a recorder? Either way, her parents don’t seem to disagree.

Honestly, even if the sounds aren’t too beautiful, it’s great that she’s dedicated and wants to learn, and it’s lovely that she recognizes that her music isn’t, at least yet, quite at the level of sparking joy.

Still, hopefully, she’s not too hard on herself, and hopefully, if she keeps the practice up, she’ll reach a point where she and her mom can both enjoy the music.

Toddlers With Musical Instruments — Do Not Attempt At Home

Oh no. First, imagine your older child growing out of his recorder era, putting it away, and thinking that you have years and years before your younger child reaches that stage, only to have those hopes dashed upon the jagged rocks of musical horror.

Then, imagine that the new user of the old recorder is only three. Remember when we were talking about siren sounds? Those would be a heavenly orchestra compared to what a three-year-old can do with a recorder.

The Song Of His People

Not everyone hates the recorder, though. It sounds like at least one cat out there absolutely loves the sound.

It would certainly be convenient when you’re trying to make the bed and your cat is working hard to be a lump under the sheets. Just shout to Junior to play kitty’s favorite song, and tuck in those fitted corners in peace!

Remember to give the kid the payment you promised for his help when it’s all said and done, or this story could quickly turn dark.

Suffering Is Imminent, & Dad Knows It

Some parents don’t even wait for the recorder to come home to recognize their suffering. This dad made his announcement the day before his daughter brought the instrument home for the first time, and he’s taking it to the extreme.

Still, he was probably wise to hop on Twitter to express his misery a day in advance because, with the instrument in the house, he may not be able to hear himself think to compose a post!

Hopefully, his child has mastered the instrument to the degree necessary to pass her music class by now, and he will know peace again.

This Child Has A Great Future As An Inventor (Maybe Not As A Musician Though)

This kid had a brilliant idea, and not only for recorder practice. Imagine if your neighbor with the drums could plug headphones in so he could practice into the night without disturbing anyone. There are probably aspiring musicians long past school age who would pay good money for this invention to practice an instrument at home in their apartment or even in the same room where the baby is sleeping without disturbing anyone.

Of course, parents of kids in band or recorder classes would be among the first to buy them the second they hit the shelves.

Public Libraries Are Great Places, But Even They Have Flaws

The Library of Things is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing thing that has hit libraries around the globe. It enriches lives. Library patrons can not only borrow instruments, but depending on your local library system, you may be able to take home computers or tablets, bakeware, sports equipment, homeschool materials, Wi-Fi hotspots, and a near-infinite variety of other things.

It’s absolutely lovely.

Except, of course, when the objects coming home disturb the peace. Oops. Still, these kids are getting enriching experiences without their parents having to purchase instruments.

Another Miraculous Invention We’ll Never See

A player piano? A…well, a boombox or a phone and a Bluetooth speaker? No, those can be made to produce some unappealing sounds too, especially across generational divides. (It’s not just your kids; remember, your parents said the same things about your music.)

Still, it’s an awesome idea, although musicians are already criticized for using autotune devices. If professionals tried to employ this hypothetical magical instrument, they’d probably be criticized for it.

Kids, though? It would be amazing to give them a chance to practice in a way that didn’t cause misery to parents, teachers, and neighbors!