The end of the school year spurs parents to feats of imagination beyond anything any science fiction writer ever dreamed. Parents have visions of sleeping in instead of hurrying to be ready for the school bus, of relaxing afternoons on the beach or by the pool, and of a long break from homework and backpack checks.
Ha! When the break actually starts, parents are suddenly hit with stark reminders that summer vacation is expensive and grueling. June can be a shock no matter how much we love and adore our kids.
Did They Always Eat This Much?
Seriously, there is no snack break every half hour in the classroom. How are kids getting through the day at school with a regular meal schedule, but when at home, they can’t survive an hour without a bowl of cereal, a package of Oreos, last night’s supper leftovers, and a bag of chips?
The Comparison Is Baffling
Also, what changed? Moms are pointing out that the same kids took some of the same foods to school in lunchboxes all year and brought them home barely touched. How is school stomach so different from vacation stomach? Maybe it’s the heat or extra running around or maybe our kids are just trolling us.
Snack Budgets Are Breaking Us All
Even if kids are away from home for the day, they’re still managing to raid a fridge, a cabinet, a cooler, or a lunch bag somewhere. The cost of feeding a child all summer long is a stark reminder that affordable school lunches are much appreciated. Seriously though, where do these appetites come from?
And The Pickiness!
And yet, whatever you’ve bought, whatever you have filled the fridge, the pantry, and the freezer with, it is not the right food. They need something else and are certain they’re starving unless you make another grocery run.
Every Other Bill Is Also Higher
The pool, the sprinkler, the slip’n’slide, the water balloons, the water guns, the water hose that never turned off, and more showers in six weeks vacation than they took all school year — summer is water time, and our wallets are wondering how we’re staying afloat.
The Observation Obsession
Summertime is mommy time, and kids are demanding every ounce of your attention every second. Did you glance at a book or a screen for a second? How dare you! It’s one thing to have a second to yourself, it’s something completely different for your children to see it occur.
Surely, you didn’t think you were going to sit. No, it would be best if you did a head count. Now another. Wait, did you count a kid that isn’t yours? Count again. Also, can you please go back to the car and see if the other beach ball is there, and also help set this up, demonstrate how to build a sand castle, and get everyone some popsicles?
Then They Bully The Parents
Okay, at least it’s an excellent time for bonding. You’re spending time with your children, they’re learning new skills, and they’re looking up to you as an adult who can set an example. No, wait, actually, they’re laughing at you. Again. Parenting is the best.
Learning To Get Along
At least if you have more than one kid, they can entertain each other during the summer. Or antagonize each other endlessly, whichever. And nope, that video game system you dropped hundreds of dollars on (not counting the games) isn’t stopping the demands about going to amusement parks, the pool, and anywhere else that costs money.
Outta Sight, Parents Outta Their Minds
When they disappear by themselves for a while and get quiet, you probably have other problems. Summer is for learning new skills, like demolishing your home behind your back. The most fearful a parent can be at home is when loud laughter and play turn suddenly silent. That’s worse than any jumpscare in a horror movie, mark my words.
Never Enough Activities
Yet somehow, in between the pool and outings, eating everything in the pantry and the neighborhood grocery store, and destroying the house and your sanity, kids will still find time to get bored.
It’s time to get started writing out that to-do list. It’s going to be a long one.