Chances are, how your parents raised you has a significant effect on how you’re raising your kids — but that doesn’t always mean you’re making the same choices. In fact, one thing that seems consistent among Generation X, Millennials, and Gen Z is that they’re all trying to mimic what their parents got right and change what they think was damaging.
One thing that they seem to agree on, though, is that every generation left their kids with its own unique style of trauma and that the top parenting goal is to not pass on that trauma — often resulting in entirely new versions.
Gen X Flips The Script
Gen X, for instance, is super salty about their latchkey experiences, and some of them feel they’ve been too “helicopter” with their kids as a result. There is a lot of public discourse about the difference between the freedom (some describe it as neglect) that Gen X grew up with and the much closer eye they keep on their kids (sometimes to such an extreme that older generations see it as preventing their kids from ever growing up).
Of course, technology has made a difference here, too!
These Changes Are No Accident
Some Gen Xers are very clear on how the parenting style they were raised with hurt them, and they’ve made an active decision not to repeat the same choices. On the other hand, such close attention to their kids also means being very aware of when their own decisions affect their kids negatively.
Oops.
Gen X Is Not Letting Their Parents Off The Hook
Gen X parents are talking to their kids about their mistakes and asking their kids to be understanding, but they also know they’re not hearing any apologies from their Boomer parents, so they’re doing public call-outs.
As a millennial, I can confirm that both my older (Gen X) brother and I had pocketknives at younger ages than my kids, but I’m going to have to defer to others on how parents handled substance control.
Parenting Changed Quickly Between Gen X & Y
Gen X can even see differences in how they and their Millenial siblings and friends were raised, despite the two generations being close enough to overlap. As you can see, it even affects how they watch movies.
Younger kids definitely see the events of Home Alone differently than those of us born in the 1970s and 80s because at least some of us really did get left home alone—granted, probably not because our parents forgot us when they went on vacation, but still on our own. Now, Gen X and Millenial parents are in parenting groups on Facebook debating at exactly what age we can leave a kid home while we run to the grocery store without CPS showing up.
Gen X Feels Very Caught In The Middle
Gen X might not all agree on exactly what their parents should be doing with their lives, but there’s broad agreement that their generation is responsible for keeping their parents in line.
They’re balancing keeping their kids fed and clothed and ensuring their parents drink water and take their meds.
They’re Parenting Everyone
They’re trying to do it all. They’re trying to make sure their parents are okay, give their own kids the parenting they wish they had, and be the best grandparents and godparents they can be while also holding down a job or three and getting a little older themselves.
It’s a lot.
Parenting Style vs. Grandparenting Style
They’re also noticing that their Boomer parents are suddenly a lot more attentive to the grandkids than they were back in the day. Some of them might even be feeling a little resentment about not having quite so much concern exhibited when they suffered the same minor injuries.
Critiquing The Next Generation
On the other hand, Gen X still feels like they’re much firmer parents than their near-peers, the Millenial parents. They’re still enforcing many of the rules that were standard when they were kids — finish your plate, don’t play with your food, do as you’re told.
Then they see Millenials hand their kids a bowl of goldfish crackers and the remote, and maybe they get a little deja vu.
Now we’re all watching to see how Gen Z and Gen Alpha modify their child-rearing styles in response to the current parenting generations.