Moms and dads get up daily to show up and show out for their kids. Balancing work, home, and child-rearing responsibilities at once is super challenging.
As a mom of three, I hold more job titles in the home than in my work role as a writer for ParentingPatch. I playfully joke with my kids, saying I never thought I would have to be a referee as a mother, but I am doing just that, amongst other things.
If mothers were paid a salary for handling child-rearing tasks, the Houston Chronicle reports that it would be the equivalent of a $145K annual salary.
Just think about how many different tasks a mom fulfills in one day for her children. Moms wear many hats, from conflict mediators to nurses, financial managers to life coaches, chefs, and much more.
Here are some of the various “job titles” that moms must balance on any given day.
Referee (or Mediator)
Moms are natural-born Referees who can expertly end sibling squabbles while exhibiting great problem-solving abilities, from encouraging children to share a toy to dissolving a physical altercation between siblings, maintaining calm while meditating takes patience and willpower.
My youngest two children are 18 months apart and always fight about something. When one snatches a toy from the other, I ask the offender to return it to the person using it. My son loves to roughhouse, and his temperament has rubbed off on his little sister. There are times I have to break up physical altercations between them by hitting one another.
Household Manager
Mothers are often the prime Household Managers. It encompasses a combination of the other job titles on this list, including Housekeeper, Toy Merchandiser, Chef, Tutor, and Detective. It’s a behind-the-scenes job involving many tasks that people who aren’t parents wouldn’t think would be involved when raising children. Such tasks include analyzing food inventories, budgeting, corresponding with children’s schools, and delegating household chores.
I look through the fridge and pantry daily to see if we are low on highly used ingredients. I keep a piece of paper on the refrigerator to make a grocery list that I will take to the store when it’s time to pick up more ingredients.
Appointment Setter
Whether setting a doctor’s appointment, playdate time, or holiday pictures, mothers are the quintessential Appointment Setters. They make the calls or visit the facilities to set up the appointments. So they don’t forget the appointments, moms mark them on their digital calendars and hang appointment cards on the fridge. This is one of the most challenging tasks for moms, requiring an extensive mental load.
When I make appointments for my children, I also need a written reminder and a digital calendar entry. If not, I will most likely forget about it. I have a magnet on the fridge with each day of the week and a line under it. I write down any appointments happening on the corresponding day when I plan everything for the week on that Sunday.
Chef
Mommas know how to whip up delicious dishes, making them experienced Chefs. They have learned their child(ren)’s likes and dislikes related to food and formulate their menus accordingly while integrating new foods for them to try. Crowd favorites like PB&J’s for lunch and mac and cheese for dinner may appear on the menu at least once a week. Studies show that 90% of parents are becoming more health-conscious with their children’s diets, emphasizing probiotic-rich foods and dishes providing microbiome support.
I found out a couple of months ago that my youngest daughter is lactose intolerant. Hence, I had to plan her meals differently from those of her brother and elder sister. For example, if I am making mac and cheese, I will put some elbow noodles aside to pair with pasta sauce for my youngest daughter to eat instead since she cannot consume that cheese.
Special Event Scheduler
Special events make life exciting. While dads may not mind planning a visit to a comic book/gaming convention or a flea market (my children’s father’s favorite places to go), moms are the queens of special events planning. They scope Facebook events and scour search engines to find fun events in their area. Suppose they want to plan a party for their kids. In that case, they coordinate sending invitations, picking up the cake, figuring out the menu, and many other invisible labor tasks related to event planning.
I love to scout for special events for my kids and me to attend. I look at local Facebook events, and updates to local events-themed Facebook groups, and type in “things to do in (location) on (day of the week I am planning an outing)” into Google. I prefer free or low-cost local community events to stretch my budget while having fun with my little ones. However, I also take turns scheduling special events on weekends with their dad when he and their elder sister visit.
Safety Inspector
If you have children already walking, you must remember the feeling of impending doom when they start to crawl. Cue the Safety Inspector role. From babyproofing the house during infancy to keeping them out of the road while playing outside, moms always look for safety threats to protect their children.
My favorite thing to do in the spring and summer is to take my kids camping. As we load our belongings into the cabin, I check for bugs and possible deficiencies in the ceiling or floor. When we visit playgrounds, I bring a towel to clean any wet puddles on the slides, especially if there was a rainstorm the previous day.
Storyteller
Whether you are reading their favorite book for the 123rd time or making up a fun tale from scratch, moms are prominent Storytellers. They can make fun voice impressions for each character in a children’s book. Mothers are even more creative when they think up their own stories to tell their children. The best stories told are fun memories that they have all shared together.
My eldest daughter had a stepfather who was in her life until he died unexpectedly in March 2024. I still tell her funny stories about memories I have of her and him spending time together before he and I separated in 2019. The wounds are still fresh for her a year later since his death, but the real-life stories help her reminisce on the good memories.
Life Coach
Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual. However, moms are experts in imparting advice to their children, making them great Life Coaches. When unexpected events happen, like handling a bully at school or handling the death of a loved one, mothers are empathetic beings with the right words to say at the right moment.
My eldest daughter, age 7, is always in need of advice. When a boy called her mean names, I told her to remind him that she loves who she is and that she isn’t those things. When her stepfather died, I gave her the reassurance and comfort she needed to process her grief effectively. When she asks me about the education needed to become a school art teacher, I inform her that she may need college classes and other specialty courses to perfect her craft.
Photographer
Mothers are more likely to be Photographers than fathers because they desire to capture as many moments as possible of their children. Sometimes, we are so caught up in documenting our children’s experiences that we forget to jump into the picture with them. Don’t forget to pack the selfie stick and jump into those photos, girl!
During visitations, I take more photos of the children together than of their father. Being the main photographer means I am not in as many pictures with the kids. However, I do take some selfies with my little ones or other people at local events, and they will offer to take a picture of me with my children if they see me trying to get us all in the shot. I need to listen to my advice about bringing the selfie stick!
Detective
Moms have heard these questions from their children:
“Mom, where are my shoes?” This happens every time you are trying to get out the door for the day.
“Mommy, can you help me find my stuffy?” This is one of the many challenges of getting everyone to bed on time.
“Where did my crayons go? They were just on the table!” I bet you $10 you cleaned them up 5 minutes before that question because your child wasn’t using it.
The mental load of playing detective gets debilitating for me after a while. What’s helped me reduce how much time I spend looking for items around the house is teaching myself and the children to put everything back immediately after using any items around our house. It may seem “easy” to throw an item on the counter or under a table until you return to it. However, I have found it easier to place it back into its intended home, so it’s easier to find when you need it again.
Timekeeper
Children thrive on a set routine. Mothers are master Timekeepers when planning their day from scheduling time for homework, eating meals, post-meal cleanup, children’s playtime, bathtimes, and more. When visiting fun places like playgrounds, moms have time to take breaks for meals, snacks, bathroom breaks, and diaper checks.
My children’s father taught me this timekeeper tactic when we had all the kids at a local playground. He would start a 5-minute countdown warning the kids that we were about to leave soon. He would give them another reminder at the 2-minute mark, and then we would round them up once the 5-minute mark was up.
Nurse
“Owwww! Mom, I got a boo boo,” I hear mostly from my son on a semi-daily basis. I always have fun kids-themed bandages, gauze pads, and gauze tape ready to go in an emergency kit when we are on the go for any cuts or scrapes while away from home.
While fathers can be nurturing, too, many children first run to their Mom, the Nurse, when they get injured. Females are biologically wired to be more nurturing during these situations than their male counterparts.
Tutor
Kids don’t just learn everything in school. Moms love taking the initiative to teach their children in a fun way. If they are having trouble mastering a school subject, they take the time to tutor them. Parents with children struggling with mathematics may make up extra problems for them to complete to master their weaknesses. Kids having difficulty spelling may need more guidance and practice in learning how to spell specific words properly.
One time, one of my eldest daughter’s spelling words (she was in 1st grade at the time of writing) was “scrub”. We do mock spelling tests every Thursday night to prepare for her weekly spelling test on Fridays. She spelled it as “scrud”, so the paper instructed her to write it 3 times each. It could have just been her mixing up the letters “b” and “d”, which is normal. However, I took the learning experience a step further so she wouldn’t get that word marked wrong on her quiz. I had her write the word 5 times each on her worksheet instead of 3. Then, I had her write two sets of lyrics with the word “scrub” in them from the song, No Scrubs by TLC.
IT Support Technician
“Mom, my iPad died,” I hear my eldest daughter shout at least a few times a week. We moms are IT Support Technicians plugging in tablets, downloading apps, and organizing our children’s millions of free games into different categories. I recall having to do this to my daughter’s iPad a couple of times this year. I tell her that she can only download a couple of new apps per week and that she has to eliminate a few she is not using to clean up space on her tablet.
A mother’s IT role goes beyond handling a child’s tablet or cell phone. Children are the first to ask why the Wi-Fi is not working when streaming shows or playing online video games. In most cases at my house, it’s because both of my toddlers think they’re electricians, and one of them had unplugged the router. On rare occasions, the Wi-Fi is down due to weather or a general outage.
I combat how much I need to exercise my IT role by reducing screen time. Most Millennial parents prioritize screen-free moments with their kids because they grew up without cell phones until later in their teenage years. I am a Millennial born in 1994, and I didn’t have my first flip phone until I was 13.
Chauffeur
Mom usually drives the children to school every morning and picks them up if they do not take a bus. Of course, transportation arrangements depend on whether the mom works from home, is a stay-at-home mom, or works outside the home. Moms also shuttle their kids to sports practices, fun outings, doctor’s appointments, and more.
My children’s Head Start is two towns over, so I bring them there after dropping off my eldest at her school, only a few minutes from where we live. At one point, for about 6 weeks, my eldest daughter would be doing Girl Scouts and indoor soccer at our local YMCA every Monday evening after dinner and homework. One Monday out of the month was Girl Scouts, 4H, and indoor soccer all on a Monday night. Talk about chauffeuring at its finest!
Housekeeper
The never-ending laundry piles, loads of dishes, and random toy messes scattered throughout the house are just normal motherhood realities. Moms act as housekeepers to tidy the home and make it comfortable and livable for their children, themselves, and their partners if they live with them. The more people in the house, the harder it is to keep up with the housework.
I’ll be blunt. I dislike laundry with a passion. It’s the chore I struggle most to tackle. I split the task into smaller chunks: sorting, folding, and putting away. I take a break between the smaller tasks so I don’t get overwhelmed. Laundry and I get along when I do it that way.
Personal Shopper
Raising children is becoming more expensive nowadays, including purchasing new clothes as they grow out of their old ones, food for their meals, and funding their extracurricular activities. However, moms dominate the Personal Shopper role by purchasing what their children primarily need and sometimes what they want. Mothers remember their kids’ favorite snacks or characters to add another toy to their collection. They purchase clothes in their favorite colors and patterns.
I love shopping for clothes for my kids. I am super thrifty and purchase clearance clothing during off-seasons to get the best deal. Sometimes, I go to thrift stores and find new gently used or new with tags items for a fraction of the ticketed price. I found new-with-tag Cat and Jack shoes for my youngest daughter in the Salvation Army for only $1.50, and they were ticketed at $15.
Toy Merchandiser
Do you ever notice that no matter how many toys you pick up, another one respawns on the floor like a horrific video game? I am right there with you. I have to go through a massive toy declutter to restore my children’s toy area to order.
A mom’s role as a Toy Merchandiser is taken care of and considered. What toys are the children playing with most? Can some of them be stored a bit for a toy rotation? Ask yourself these questions as you discover how to organize them, whether with a toy storage chest or cube storage solutions.
Financial Manager
Moms check their bank accounts (and their significant others’ or spouses’, if applicable) regularly to see how their finances are. This is important when they budget to make meals for the kids and plan purchases to fulfill their clothing or other needs. Financial management skills are also necessary when allocating funds toward bills and saving cash for upcoming family vacations.
Money is usually tight, but I always pay bills and meet my children’s needs first. I take my kids to many free community events to have fun, so we can stay on a budget while still having lots of fun. During the summer, we visit local playgrounds and campgrounds, pack a picnic, and bring outside activities to make it like a field day.
Bodyguard
Moms are vigilant superheroes, ensuring no harm comes to their children. She watches her surroundings for potential threats to keep her little ones safe. They teach their children to practice safe navigation through parking lots while scoping out for potential bad guys while they are in public.
I am constantly on guard when I take my children out. Since it’s usually just me and them, I always watch and analyze our surroundings while staying prepared to leave immediately if a threat arises. I have learned a proper balance of having fun at the moment while maintaining vigilance of what’s going on around us.
Motherhood goes beyond the many titles we fulfill on a daily basis. It’s a labor of love with many challenges along the way while raising tiny humans to be civil adults contributing to society. While a mother’s unpaid labor may be statistically worth $145,000 a year, the love and dedication to her children are priceless.
