Teachers don’t get enough respect. They do a hard job, on which all of society relies, and for their efforts, they are underpaid, overworked, and treated with disrespect and derision.
That said, they also see our kids only for a limited period of time and through a pretty specific lens. Their job is to teach our kids a specific subject; parents’ job is the whole kid, and sometimes those goals clash.
In this case, a math teacher is sharing emails from parents who she feels are acting entitled and unreasonable. By her description, the parents think she’s being unreasonable for asking the kids to do homework.
Math Teacher Shares Parent Emails On TikTok
This teacher, who goes by kai.mer on TikTok, went viral after she shared some of the messages parents have sent her about their kids’ homework assignments. Note that she’s sharing stories from when she was a 7th-grade math teacher, and in other videos says she now works in higher education. It’s not entirely clear whether she’s sharing from memory and notes, or still has the documents and is reading them directly.
“Last night my child had an emotional breakdown because they got frustrated with the homework. You have assigned way too much homework.”
She adds that this was after COVID, that many students lacked 3rd- and 4th-grade math skills, and that the homework was intended to bring them up to date so they could learn the 7th-grade work.
Another email she shared said:
“The math problems on the homework do not align with the state standards for 7th-grade. I will not be putting my child in distress for content they do not need to know. My child willl not be doing this assignment.”
The teacher adds that this parent made her life difficult all year but doesn’t share any details about the homework questions.
Another email:
“My child had soccer practice until 8pm and was too tired to complete the homework. Please excuse them from this assignment.”
In this case, the teacher says that she would have preferred the parent to ask for an extra day, and that an extension would have worked out better than simply refusing to do the work.
You can see her video below.
The Responses Are Somewhat Divided (But Less Than You May Think)
A few commenters did call out the teacher for some of these emails.
For instance, there was some shock at the idea that she would make students skip lunch. (She later added that they ate lunch while doing the work, and weren’t actually kept from eating.)
Several also chimed in, noting studies that suggest homework has some negative effects on kids, too. Some pointed out that after 8 hours in school, kids need their evenings to be a break, to relax, spend time with their family, and engage in physical activity.
However, the majority supported the teacher, some going to extremes.
For instance, one prominent opinion was that everybody is traumatized by math homework, and that this is a unifying experience that’s important for kids to have. Another described her own experience of taking dance classes during her school years, which resulted in staying up until 1am doing homework, then getting up early to do it again, implying that if she could handle that, all kids should be able to juggle their extracurriculars and homework without complaint.
Still, there were plenty of moderates who believed that it’s reasonable to assign homework when called for (such as extra practice to catch up in math) and also reasonable to be understanding of kids’ struggles.
The Bigger Picture & The Bigger Problem
Teachers have a hard job, as mentioned before. Parents do, too. And we all tend to look back with rose-tinted nostalgia glasses, but maybe we can remember that being a kid isn’t always easy, either.
Teacher social media accounts, which highlight the hard parts of being a teacher, are pretty popular, and for good reason. Between teachers, content focused on topics like the many ways class is disrupted, or the many things elementary students wanted to tattle about, or this week’s homework excuses, is very relatable.
To those outside the profession, it’s humorous, and some aspects are still relatable. (Parents will definitely recognize their kid in the tattling stories, for instance.)
The responses tell a story, too, though. People are angry at parents. People are angry at kids. People think (perpetually) that the generation(s) after their own are hopeless, lazy, and wrong. Parents blame teachers. Teachers blame parents. The general public blames either or both, and rages instead of working to make things better.
Maybe a more productive response would be for us all to watch these videos and decide that parents, kids, families, and teachers all need more support, rather than more condemnation and ire.
