A first sleepover is a rite of passage for many children and a source of worry for many parents.
Before the sleeping bag goes in the car, parenting coach Sue Atkins said families should do some homework and prepare the child, too.
Whether to allow sleepovers is each family’s call, but those who say yes, here are eight lessons to cover first.
1. ‘No’ and ‘stop’ are Always Allowed
Atkins suggests parents ask whether their child could say words like “no” or “stop” if a situation turned uncomfortable, dangerous or simply strange.
Practice the phrases at home so they come easily.
2. Know The ‘Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down’ Rule For Touch
Talk openly about which kinds of touch are fine and which are not. Give children ready-made lines to use if something feels wrong.
3. Other Homes Have Other Rules
Families differ on screen time, movies and games. Tell your child it is fine to opt out of anything they are not allowed to watch or do and to blame you if that makes it easier.
4. A Late-Night Call is Welcome
Children should hear plainly that they can phone their parents any time, even in the middle of the night, to be picked up. Parents can promise that they will not be angry.
5. Know How To Reach You
A child without a mobile phone will need to ask the host to use the landline. Parents should know whether their child can manage that alone.
Rehearse it, and make sure they know your number.
6. Ask For Help With Health Needs
Parents should tell the host family about regular medication, sleepwalking or occasional bedwetting, ideally in a discreet conversation. Children should know which adult to approach if they need something overnight.
If a medication wears off late in the evening, hosts should know that, too.
7. Bath Time Can Wait
Parents are recommended to skip the bath until the child is back home, which limits how vulnerable they may feel.
Let your child know that going without a bath is perfectly fine, even if other kids are splashing around or being sent off to wash up. A quick face wash and teeth brushing are enough for one night.
8. Share How it Went
When your child returns, ask open-ended questions about the night, especially if they seem quiet or upset.
How Parents Can Ask About Sleep Nights Without Making Kids Uncomfortable
Atkins noted that bullying can happen at sleepovers and a relaxed chat helps children feel heard.
Parents have homework of their own. They are urged to size up the host household first, including who will supervise and who else will be there.
If something feels off about an adult or another child, saying no is acceptable and offering to host at your own home can be an alternative.
Done thoughtfully, sleepovers can be enormous fun. The goal is to let children grow more independent while keeping them safe.
