Kylie Kelce, a mom of four, was recently asked to share tips for moms to help them put down their phones and stay present with their kids.
Our smartphones can be like windows to the world, allowing us to stay in contact with loved ones, engage with our favorite media, and quickly access news and information. They can also be addictive thieves of the time and attention we intended to give to those in the room with us, including our kids.
Kelce shared her ideas, but, moms, be warned: this will still require some willpower.
No Phubbing In The Kelce Home
Kylie Kelce is a busy mom who wears many hats. In addition to her podcast and her philanthropic work with the Eagles Autism Foundation, she’s a high school field hockey coach, according to a People profile. That can add up to a lot of screen and call time.
She’s also raising 4 little girls, ranging in age from almost-1 (March) to 6, which requires a lot of time, energy, and attention.
It would be easy in those circumstances to fall prey to phubbing, a term coined to describe what happens when parents are so focused on their phones or other devices that they snub, or ignore, their kids.
One of Kelce’s fans reached out to ask how she manages to avoid the trap, and put down her phone to spend time with her kids.
Kylie Has Two Basic Tips For A No-Phubbing Time
Kelce, who we know is skilled at the multitasking feat of parenting while recording her podcast, says that there are two basic ways she handles this.
One of her methods is essentially entirely phone-free, and the other lets her keep an ear out for any important messages or calls while still focusing primarily on her kids.
She says that when she’s playing with her daughters, she puts her phone in another room, on a table where it can’t distract her. She does leave the ringer on, she says, so that if she needs to answer a call, she’ll still hear it.
However, if she needs to be on alert for a message, she puts in one earbud and lets it read any texts she receives.
You can see her full response below.
Why Does Detaching From Our Devices While Parenting Matter?
Several studies have shown that parental attachment to devices can negatively affect children’s development.
Researchers have found that kids whose parents spend more time on their phones show less curiosity about their environments and higher levels of distress. In one study, about a third of kids (32%) said they feel unimportant because their parents spend meals or other family time glued to their screens. These kids described feeling like they had to compete with a phone for their parents’ attention, according to Psychology Today.
Kids need connection (and not the digital kind), and they need it most from the adults in their lives. Smartphones may make us feel connected globally, but they can also detract from in-person connection.
That doesn’t mean that parents aren’t allowed to veg out on their devices or decompress with funny videos or social scrolling. It just means we all need to be more deliberate about how much time we spend on those activities and how much we focus on the kids in the room with us.
More Tips For A Phub-Free Home
In addition to simply leaving the phone in another room, as Kelce suggests, parents can set specific phone-free times and enforce the rules for themselves and their kids.
Try a household rule: mealtime is a no-phone zone. Inform anyone who might try to call or contact during that time that it’s off-limits. If necessary, set an away message on your email and other accounts that lets contacts know you’re not available and will respond later.
Setting up a charging station can help, too. If the standard is that phones are charged in one specific area, you can make charging time an automatic put-the-device-down time (instead of a tethered-by-the-cord time).
If necessary, use parental controls (yes, even on your own phone!) to limit how much time you spend on time-sucking apps like social media and games. This one is good because it still works for those who absolutely must have access to their phone at all times for its standard functions (like on-call emergency workers).
Give yourself the grace to use your device (or other hobbies and joys) for some downtime when you need it, but remember that all your favorite apps will still be around when the babies are napping, at school, hanging out with friends, or off to work or college. Our kids only grow up once.