Everyone has made mistakes in their lives, and for parents, one common wish is that their kids don’t repeat the same ones.
When it comes to using substances, whether we’re talking about alcohol, tobacco, or less-legal options, even parents who use the products themselves would generally prefer their kids abstain, at least until adulthood (and maybe even then). A new study suggests that the surest way to decrease the risk of your kids using these substances is to avoid them yourself, but there is another important factor, too.
Parenting styles are a factor, and an authoritative one produces the best outcomes.
Four Parenting Styles
Parenting is typically described as falling into one of four categories: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful or uninvolved. Most people use a mixture of styles, but have a dominant style.
Authoritarian styles involve a parent setting the rules, allowing little or no feedback, and coming down hard on children who break the rules. These parents rarely show warmth, and it’s an uphill battle to earn their approval.
Authoritative styles are usually seen as the most effective. These parents set firm boundaries but can be flexible and show their children ample warmth and approval.
Permissive parenting is characterized by plenty of warmth and displays of love, but far fewer boundaries. These parents want their kids to feel happy and loved, but may not set needed limits.
Neglectful parenting is characterized by neither boundaries nor warmth. These parents may not bother to teach their kids limits or to let them know they’re valued and loved.
The Effect Of Parental Substance Use
Parents who drink, smoke, vape, or partake of recreational drugs have a higher chance, a study that will appear in the March edition of Addictive Behaviors shows, of having kids who also partake in those substances.
In fact, while more than a quarter (27.6%) of the kids (ages 14 to 17) surveyed said that they had tried alcohol, of those whose parents do not drink or use legal or illegal drugs, 89% of the kids had never used substances, either.
The study didn’t examine the exact factors that link parental use to child use. This could include availability (alcoholic beverages, vapes, cigarettes, or other products are in the house and accessible to pick up) as well as parental use normalizing the substances and making them appear a part of everyday life, and even genetics.
However, it did find that parental use is the single biggest determining factor in adolescent use of substances.
The Parenting Factor
That said, there’s another major factor: parenting styles.
Authoritative parenting styles served as a protective factor, especially for the use of more than one substance (polysubstance use).
“[A]uthoritative parenting significantly reduced adolescents’ likelihood of polysubstance use – even among high-risk parents.”
While the researchers didn’t release exact parenting behaviors that were linked with lower adolescent substance use, such as the way parents talked to their kids about drug use, or the frequency of check-ins for wellbeing, they found that those whose parenting styles were characterized by higher warmth and responsiveness, along with firm boundaries, had kids who were less likely to engage in higher substance use.
The Surprise Effect Of Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritative parenting tends to produce better results on most scales, including children’s mental health, so there’s no great shock that it would be the best parenting style for reducing the risk of adolescent substance abuse.
However, authoritarian parenting is a style that can have mixed results. It’s often associated with higher academic achievement, for instance, but lower self-esteem.
In this case, it’s a mixed bag again: children of parents who use authoritarian parenting styles were less likely to report polysubstance use, but more likely to report alcohol use.
Permissive and neglectful parenting showed no protective effect against passing substance use down to the next generation.
What Can Parents Take From This?
The best way we can prevent passing down substance use to another generation is to break the cycle ourselves. Our kids are less likely to be consumers of alcohol, nicotine, and illicit substances if we aren’t using them, either.
However, if we do, as adults, choose to continue having the occasional drink or indulging in vaping or other habits, the next best thing we can do for our kids is to engage in authoritative parenting.
This entails setting clear and firm boundaries and rules, while also being warm, open, and loving.
When it comes to the big talk about drugs and alcohol, it means being honest with them about the risks and the reasons we want them to wait until they’re adults. It means not allowing or being okay with them drinking, vaping, or doing drugs, but still being safe and approachable if they do make a mistake. Then, helping them avoid repeating their mistake.