Harriet the Spy - Cross My Heart and Hope Not to Dance (S1E3)
Janie and Harriet vow never to go to dancing school, but Harriet doesn't know that Janie actually likes dancing.
| Runtime (min) | 23 |
|---|---|
| Air Date | 2021-11-18 |
| Genres | Animation, Kids |
| TV Rating | TV-G |
| Network(s) | Apple TV |
Storyline
Harriet and her best friend Janie make a solemn vow to each other: neither of them will ever attend dancing school. For Harriet, the promise feels natural and easy to keep, as she has no interest in formal dance lessons and would much rather spend her time observing people and writing in her notebook. The two friends seal their pact with confidence, certain they are united in their resistance to this particular social expectation.
However, Harriet soon discovers that Janie has been keeping a secret. Despite their vow, Janie actually enjoys dancing and wants to attend dancing school. Harriet must grapple with the realization that her friend made a promise she didn't truly want to keep, and that Janie may have agreed to the vow only to please Harriet. The episode explores the tension between honoring a commitment to a friend and being honest about one's own desires, forcing Harriet to decide how to respond when friendship and personal truth come into conflict.
What kids learn
Children learn important lessons about the difference between a promise made freely and one made under social pressure. Harriet's discovery that Janie agreed to a vow she didn't believe in demonstrates how friends sometimes say yes to things they don't want, simply to avoid disappointing someone they care about. The episode shows young viewers that true friendship requires creating space for honesty, even when that honesty reveals different interests or desires.
The story also teaches children about respecting individual preferences and recognizing that friends don't have to share every opinion or interest to remain close. Harriet must learn that Janie's love of dancing doesn't diminish their friendship, and that insisting everyone feel the same way about everything can actually harm relationships. Children see that supporting a friend's genuine passion, even when it differs from their own feelings, is a sign of maturity and real care.
Additionally, the episode addresses the courage it takes to admit you've changed your mind or made a promise you can't keep. Janie's situation illustrates that being truthful about your feelings, even when it might disappoint a friend, is ultimately kinder than maintaining a pretense that leads to resentment or hidden behavior.
Parents' top 5 questions
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| How should I talk to my child about what to do when a friend breaks a promise? | Use Harriet's situation to discuss how sometimes people make promises without fully thinking them through, or circumstances change. Help your child understand that while broken promises can hurt, it's important to listen to why the promise was broken. Talk about the difference between a friend who casually disregards commitments and one who, like Janie, agreed to something that conflicted with their true feelings. Encourage your child to express their disappointment while also practicing empathy and considering whether the promise was fair to begin with. |
| What if my child is the one who made a promise they now regret, like Janie did? | Janie's predicament offers a perfect conversation starter about the courage it takes to admit a mistake. Reassure your child that it's okay to realize they agreed to something they shouldn't have, and that being honest sooner rather than later is the respectful choice. Help them practice language for these conversations, such as explaining what changed or admitting they agreed too quickly. Emphasize that real friends will appreciate honesty even when it's uncomfortable, and that maintaining a false agreement ultimately damages trust more than a difficult conversation would. |
| How can I help my child understand that friends don't have to like all the same things? | This episode demonstrates that differing interests don't threaten real friendship. Point out to your child that Harriet and Janie can remain close friends even though they feel differently about dancing. Discuss examples from your child's own friendships where they and a friend enjoy different activities, and how they navigate those differences. Help them see that trying to force a friend to share every preference, or pretending to share interests you don't have, creates pressure that weakens rather than strengthens bonds. |
| Should I encourage my child to try activities even if their friends aren't interested? | Janie's hidden interest in dancing highlights how children sometimes suppress their own desires to maintain social harmony. Use this episode to give your child explicit permission to pursue interests independently of their friend group. Explain that having separate activities can actually enrich friendships by giving friends new things to talk about and learn from each other. Reassure them that real friends will support their individual interests, and if a friend responds with anger or rejection, that reveals important information about the health of that friendship. |
| What's the best way to handle the situation if my child feels betrayed by a friend's choice, like Harriet might? | Validate your child's feelings of hurt or betrayal while gently challenging whether the friend actually did something wrong. In Harriet's case, Janie wanting to dance isn't a betrayal, even though it breaks their vow. Help your child distinguish between a friend acting with malice or deception versus a friend making a choice for themselves that happens to disappoint. Guide them to express their feelings using statements about their own emotions rather than accusations, and to ask questions that help them understand their friend's perspective before deciding how to respond. |
Writing
Directing
| Season # | Episode # | Episode Name |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1 | Harriet's ambition to know and see everything may change reclusive Agatha K. Plumber's life for the better. |
| 1 | 2 | Harriet's new coat is perfect for her—and Marion Hawthorne, apparently. But who will win the school's vote? |
| 1 | 3 | Janie and Harriet vow never to go to dancing school, but Harriet doesn't know that Janie actually likes dancing. |
| 1 | 4 | After an awful day, Harriet wants some alone time. Watching Mr. Withers' 26 cats is just what she needs...or is it? |
| 1 | 5 | Harriet learns about her middle initial and questions who she is. Her nanny, Ole Golly, teaches Harriet a valuable lesson about identity. |
| 1 | 6 | Janie and Harriet get to meet their favorite singer, only to discover a shocking truth about his music. |
| 1 | 7 | Harriet really wants to win a photo competition, but it means teaming up with someone she doesn't see eye to eye with: her mom. |
| 1 | 8 | Sport and Harriet think it's time to get rid of their beloved stuffies, but change their minds—and the narrative—thanks to Marion's sneaky reporting. |
| 1 | 9 | Harriet adds the Garcia family to her spy route...and discovers that someone is spying on her. |
| 1 | 10 | On her birthday, Ole Golly revisits a list of everything she wanted to do by the age of 35—and Harriet is determined to help her complete it. |
| Season # | Episode # | Episode Name |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | 1 | When Harriet loses her last—and favorite—baby tooth, she struggles with saying goodbye to her babyhood. |
| 2 | 2 | The Welsch family attends a neighborhood party where Harriet is determined to find out why the Robinsons are so boring. |
| 2 | 3 | At the world's fair, Harriet meets a 14-year-old photographer who's unsure of his future—but shows Harriet how to cherish today. |
| 2 | 4 | Sport joins Harriet for a local scavenger hunt. But when he brings his good-luck charm to improve their chances, Harriet is skeptical. |
| 2 | 5 | While Harriet's parents are out, she and Ole Golly join Mr. Waldenstein for a movie date. But can they get home before Harriet's parents do? |
| 2 | 6 | When Ole Golly announces she and Mr. Waldenstein are getting married and moving to Montreal, Harriet tries to change her mind. |
| 2 | 7 | Harriet's dream of creating a post–Ole Golly life is shattered when her notebook falls into the hands of her nemesis: Marion. |
| 2 | 8 | The fallout from her private thoughts becoming public leaves Harriet fighting to repair her friendships—and for the return of her notebook. |
| 2 | 9 | With the notebook causing quite a stir, Harriet hopes a backyard trial of her peers will prove her innocence. |
| 2 | 10 | After Harriet makes an unexpected discovery, she comes up with a plan to right her wrongs. |
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