It’s blue bucket time.
By that, I mean it’s time for the well-meaning posts about how kids who are autistic or nonverbal or have various disabilities, allergies, or other conditions that might interfere with typical Halloween celebration can identify themselves to would-be treaters via a color-coded bucket so they won’t be expected to engage in specific social rituals like saying, “Trick or treat!”
There’s another way we could do this so that kids aren’t expected to share their medical conditions with strangers and can still have fun.
Let’s Assume Every Kid Is Doing Their Best
If you’re handing out treats and a child approaches and looks down while he holds out his bucket. He doesn’t say, “Trick or treat!” you could certainly use a color-coded bucket to identify that he may be autistic or nonverbal and unable to vocalize the phrase.
You could urge him to say the phrase or question his adults, but a better option would be to avoid doing that.
You could assume that he’s doing his best. Maybe he doesn’t say “Trick or treat!” because it’s not within his physical ability, or maybe he’s just overwhelmed and can’t find the words in the moment. But we can assume that kids are doing their best and give them all a treat, whether or not they say the phrase, meet our eyes, or even remember to say “thank you” afterward.
Let’s Not Demand Other People’s Medical Information
We do not have any special right to know if the kid at our door is autistic. If we have regular interactions, a parent may choose to disclose that information for the good of the child, or they may want us to understand why he behaves in certain ways or struggles with responding to greetings.
But that’s all contingent on the parents’ choice (and the child’s, when they’re able to give input) and the child’s well-being—not our desire for information or the child’s obligation to exchange that information for treats.
What About Allergies?
You may want to have a peanut-free bucket if you’re giving out treats. Peanut allergies can be severe and life-threatening, and you don’t want to be part of the series of events that result in a child finishing up his Halloween in the emergency room.
Because so many treats include peanut butter or other common allergens—milk, egg, soy, wheat—and even those that aren’t made with these ingredients may be manufactured in facilities where they come in contact with them and are often bagged together with allergen-laden treats, you may prefer to choose non-candy treats for your allergic guests.
The disclosure trick for Halloween treats: Your guests don’t have to tell you whether they’re allergic. You can simply offer, “Peanut bucket, or peanut-free bucket?” or “Candy treat or non-food treat?”
The Teal Pumpkin Project
Instead of kids disclosing their allergies to strangers, the Teal Pumpkin Project reverses the conversation.
Participants can put out a teal-colored pumpkin with their Halloween decor. It will fit right in with your other pumpkins and send an inclusive message to kids with allergies and their families. You can also add your house to the Teal Pumpkin Project Map, so families with allergic kids will know to include your home in their route.
Then, purchase treats as always — but choose non-food treats like pencils, stencils, fidget toys, notepads, bubbles, and more. All of these are available in Halloween themes, in bulk packages from Amazon and other retailers, at prices comparable to the big bags of candy you usually buy.
Make Your Celebration Accessible
Remember that kids with mobility aids, such as wheelchairs, may struggle getting to your door if you’ve made your path a maze of decorations or have steps.
Some treat-givers may abandon the traditional doorbell method and instead sit on their front steps to hand out treats or even wait at the end of a path nearer to the sidewalk or road. Whether you go this route or use another method, make sure that your treat plans are inclusive so that all kids, regardless of disability, can have a good holiday.
Include The Big Kids, Too
If teenagers show up, some treaters are tempted to run them off and save the candy for the little ones. After all, you’ve bought the candy and have every right to decide who it’s for, right?
However, there are a few essential things to remember.
First, some kids are just taller or look older than others. You may be handing candy happily to a small 15-year-old and scolding a tall 13-year-old for showing up. You don’t know the ages of all kids, and it’s not fair to those who had an early growth spurt to assume.
Most importantly, even if that child is seventeen, childhood is fleeting, and this person chooses to embrace it one more time before aging out. Let’s encourage any kid who wants to engage in a wholesome childhood ritual instead of leaping too quickly into adult behaviors.
Consider Cultural Sensitivity
Take time to think about your costume and ensure it won’t be perceived as making fun of or attacking other cultural groups or individuals.
You’re the final arbiter of what is appropriate for you and your celebration, but if the message you intend to send is welcome and joy, you won’t want your costume to clash with that message. This doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. It just means you can have fun while being sensitive to the feelings of your guests.
Know Your Neighborhood’s Traditions
Knowing how your neighborhood will celebrate is one of the most important keys to a good Halloween. My street, for instance, is pretty busy, so instead of traditional Trick-or-Treat, most parents take their kids to various Trunk-or-Treat events.
Halloween falls on a Thursday this year, and some neighborhoods relegate the festivities to non-school nights. You may want to check in with local authorities and make sure you’re planning to hand out treats on the day that kids will be out. Some neighborhoods also set specific times for the celebration or even impose curfews.
If you find your neighborhood isn’t Trick-or-Treat friendly but still wants to participate, contact local churches, police departments, and other organizations to find out if there’s a Trunk-or-Treat or other event you can attend.
Last year, we took my kids to an event at the local Coast Guard base, where they could participate in an airplane-centered version of Trunk-or-Treat. Pilots sat by their planes (and a few helicopters), handing out candy and talking to the kids about the aircraft. Kids and parents were even invited aboard one to check out the interior! You never know what amazing events your area may have until you ask!