Potty training is exhausting and frustrating. It’s one of those parenting tasks where you can find yourself questioning whether you’ve gotten in over your head, and even doubting your own capabilities.
It doesn’t happen unless and until your child is ready, and pressing it before they’re ready just invites more trauma and stress for everyone involved. At the same time, social expectations and daycare rules can pressure parents into rushing it, and leave them feeling even more inadequate when it doesn’t work out (especially when your child’s peers seem to have it mastered).
Some parents are paying $1,000 or more for a new type of potty planner who can either coach you through the process or come to your house and handle it personally.
What’s The Cost Of Potty Training?
Potty training can be expensive.
You buy a potty. Maybe you can buy one for each bathroom. Maybe you buy a new one because your kid was scared of the first one. You buy training pants, and then more training pants. Maybe the ones with the dinosaurs will work. Maybe the ones with his favorite cartoon character — after all, surely he won’t want to pee on Marshall from Paw Patrol, right? (Speaking from experience: he won’t mind that much.)
Then you need the supplements. Sesame Street’s Elmo has a good potty book. Actually, he has several. Daniel Tiger has a couple, and Ms. Rachel has one. So does probably every other TV show your child likes. There are dinosaur-themed ones, and ones that actually use drawings of bodily wastes to help your child (no pun intended) get the picture. Some have buttons to make flushing noises.
Stickers, videos, prizes, and every other accessory or incentive you can imagine is available at a price, and it all adds up. No wonder some parents figure it’s worth a few hundred extra dollars to just get it over with.
How Much Are These Experts Charging, & What Are You Getting For Your Money?
A new Babycenter profile on professional potty trainers delves into the sort of prices you might pay. Bear in mind that this can vary depending on your area, the expert, and what you are looking for.
It starts with ebooks and virtual courses, which can cost a few dollars (pro-tip: if you’re going with a book, check your local library!) or quite a few. For instance, I found a course at Big Little Feelings for $34 (with a money-back guarantee); and another, intended for childcare professionals, at Care Courses for $18. Good Inside includes potty learning in their overall parenting program, which runs about $23-28 per month (depending on whether you pay 3 months at a time, or a full year).
Then, if you still need help, there are potty consultants who offer one-on-one consultations, where they give advice and answers. Potty School is one such service that provides consultations for younger kids and for older kids with disabilities or developmental delays who may need extra help. For kids ages 18 months to 7 years, they charge $282 for a 45-minute new-client phone or video call and $210 for a 30-minute follow-up with an existing client.
At the greatest need, there are potty trainers who will help you out in person for $1,000 or more. Care.com shares that many such experts boast of very quick work.
“Jamie Glowaki, author of “Oh Crap! Potty Training,” says that having a potty training consultant from the get go can be helpful, because they’re able to catch any potential problems right off the bat. “My favorite client is somebody who comes to me before they’ve even started potty training because then we typically have the kid potty trained in two-or-three days since we can troubleshoot as we go,” she explains.”
The Stress Of Potty Training Is An Immeasurable Cost (Literally)
It’s pretty nearly impossible to quantify just how stressful potty training can be.
There are parents who report that their kid actually did most of the work on their own. They showed their kid the potty, took the kid to the bathroom regularly, and it just sort of happened. Others try the no-pants method, keeping their kid naked for a few days and the potty in the living room. Still others just put in 48-72 hours of intensive effort and boom, it’s done.
This doesn’t work for everyone.
Plenty of parents will find that these methods just leave them with wet, stinky floors and furniture, and a lot of extra stress for parents and kids alike.
Every kid is different, and potty training can be really hard, especially if what worked for your friends’ kids, your sisters’ kids, and your perfect cousin’s kids didn’t work for you.
In fact, a Mott Poll found that about 1 in 5 parents (21%) said potty training was harder than they expected, and nearly the same number (19%) reported that their child experienced potty anxiety. Is it purely a coincidence that it was also about 1 in 5 (22%) who started potty training because it was required for school or daycare? A third (33%) say that once they thought they’d completed potty training, their child had accidents or regressions.
Altogether, it’s no great surprise that some parents would resort to paying a professional to get the job done.
Is It Worth The Costs?
Every family will have to decide. However, here are some important considerations.
First of all, there’s no official qualification process to call oneself a Potty Consultant, Toilet Training Expert, or Elimination Teacher. There are organizations that teach a course and offer a certification, like the Institute of Pediatric Sleep & Parenting, and in some cases (like with Good Inside) you can make a solid judgment of the expertise on offer based on credentials (Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and has lots of parenting advice and information available on her social media, so you can judge for yourself before buying).
Some of the other organizations, companies, and individuals you contact may have credentials available (pediatric experience, certification through various organizations, references, etc), but unless you’re seeing and judging their credentials, anyone can just call themselves an expert in this area, and there’s no board or regulatory group to offer quality control.
Second, there is a lot of good information on potty training available for free. Your library probably has books, many experts have offered their advice in videos or on websites, and your favorite parenting group is full of ideas. Your pediatrician is also a great resource.
You can do this, even if it feels like you can’t.
That said, if you choose to get help, don’t feel bad about it. Everyone seeks help with some aspects of parenting, and it’s up to you to decide which ones.
