A large majority of parents and educators agree that reading is good for kids. However, there may be some debate about whether all reading is equally good and what is harmful.
Fortunately, we all get to decide what media our kids are permitted to consume, including books and magazines. Sometimes, though, someone else tries to step in and influence that decision.
One mom on Threads isn’t quite sure if that’s what happened with her child, but it’s close enough that she opened a conversation with many other moms who find themselves eager to join the discussion.
How Much Input Do Teachers Get In Your Child’s Reading?
When my oldest child was in elementary school, we had two encounters. In one, a teacher wanted to forbid my kid from reading on the playground, and in the other, she wanted to forbid my kid to read any books above grade level, whether that reading took place at school or at home.
The playground is iffy—certainly, the teacher is interested in kids actually using that time to run around and burn energy. I was utterly stunned, though, that she thought she had any business telling my kids, who read well above grade level, what books they were permitted to read at home!
Now, a decade and a half later, another mom has shared on Threads that a teacher asked her child a question about reading that skated right up to the boundary of invasive. She shared:
A teacher asked my 12-year-old if I read her books before she does. Maybe it’s because at her age I was reading Flowers in the Attic and stealing my mom’s romance novels that I’m having a hard time processing this kind of oversight.
Is this now a thing parents are expected to do? Because my kid set her reading goal at 160 books and I don’t have time for that. I have my own tbr to get to.
The Mom In Question Is An Accomplished Author
The mom who shared this is Aimee Baker, an author whose book Doe was inspired by the news coverage of a victimized woman. It, in turn, inspired the Netflix documentary SHE.
She says she has her reading list and explains that she is aware of what her daughter is reading. She just isn’t pre-reading all the books for her tween.
And really, is anyone doing that?
As a homeschool parent, I’ve read what I assigned my kids, even when multiple kids read different books simultaneously. I’ve also assigned books I already knew well so that I didn’t have to rush through.
But reading everything they read, including their pleasure reading?
It’s Not Super Clear What The Teacher Meant
Maybe this teacher only meant to open a conversation with the child. Baker says that her child was reading a middle-grade novel at the time, which is pretty appropriate for a 12-year-old, but that she’d been reading Doctor Who novelizations throughout the year. Those are also pretty tame, but a teacher may have clocked them as about and potentially for grownups and worried herself, possibly?
So far, the teacher hasn’t contacted the author to express any direct concern about the child’s reading. Baker isn’t upset, just sharing and conversing with others about the experience.
Some Parents Consider The Pre-Screening Way Too Much
Some of the hundreds of people who’ve responded have much stronger opinions on this than Baker expresses. One said:
“Not enough time to read all those books, and also just really weird to be that kind of parent!”
Several shared stories of their own experiences as a kid or parent, and where they draw the line. For many, there’s a middle ground where they talk to their kids about what they’re reading but don’t pre-screen. Others say they set no limits on reading. One person shared:
“As an indie bookseller, I see it ALL. The most seemingly well adjusted families are the ones where everyone – kids and grown ups – are reading whatever…they want to read, and talk about books together. Maybe not the plot of each title, but having an open conversation about the importance of books, literacy and content encourages dialogue when things get weird.”
Other Parents Are In Favor Of Keeping Content Under Control To Varying Degrees
Some parents described the ways they manage their kids’ reading, which doesn’t necessarily involve pre-reading each book.
For some, it just means they recommend books and share back and forth. Some even shared that they take recommendations from their kids!
One parent said she doesn’t control her kids’ book access, but when her daughter read something she wasn’t sure about, she came to check in with the parents before reading on. Another described:
“When they were younger, I was at least aware of what they were reading and the general content. I don’t censor but I’m also not going to buy an ‘adult’ romance for a 12yo.”
One parent shared their own exceptionally ironic experience with a teacher intervening to contact a parent about their reading:
“One time in 6th grade the book I had was Fahrenheit 451. My teacher sent a note home with me to warn my parents I was reading that and it might not be appropriate. It has been almost 30 years and I’ve never figured out whether she might have noticed this was a teensy bit ironic.”
Teachers & Librarians Give A Resounding “NO” On Book Censorship
The teachers and librarians have agreed that keeping lines of conversation open with your child is good, but excessive control of their reading material is not. One teacher directly addressed classroom library censorship:
“As a teacher, the only books I would expect a parent to have read first are the ones they would complain about being in my classroom.”
A librarian who weighed in said “absolutely not” to the question of whether parents should be pre-reading all their kids’ books and told a story of her daughter, in 5th grade, reading a book that she knew had some harrowing events. She describes warning her daughter it had “big kid” themes and talking to her about it as she read. She explains:
“My husband and I read a lot, we don’t have time to read their books, too. Instead of censoring, we emphasize critically thinking about what they’re reading and how it makes them feel. Reading is an opportunity to learn more about oneself and that means sometimes challenging ourselves with things that are outside of comfortable. That’s important for growth! Just keep talking about what you’re both reading and don’t worry about the controlling teacher.”
What Are The Experts Saying?
In 2018, the International Literacy Association created a “Child’s Right To Read” initiative, which included what they described as the “10 Fundamental Rights of Children’s Rights to Read.”
While the rights they list are all great, the most relevant one here is:
“Children have the right to choose what they read.”
The ILA explained at length why this is important, but the central tenet is this:
“Choice is associated with greater engagement with learning, increased confidence in reading, better learning outcomes, and higher scores on the Progress in International Reading Literacy Study.”
In other words, all the beautiful benefits of reading are maximized for our kids when they read what they choose. Parents certainly have the right to limit what their kids access, and to impose rules, but should do so with an awareness of how the freedom to read benefits kids.
