For some parents, every season is prank season.
Whether it’s disappearing ink on the carpet, hiding the Halloween candy and telling the kids its all gone, or dressing up as the Grinch to terrify their kids, these parents think that filming their children’s dismay for public consumption is the height of hilarity.
One of the world’s best known nannies is giving these parents a piece of her mind, and psychiatrists and mental health experts agree that they’re doing harm.
The Grinch Terror Trend
The Grinch is a character created by Dr. Seuss. He’s known for stealing Christmas (or at least, the physical representations, including decorations, food, and presents) and for eventually learning that the true meaning of Christmas isn’t commercially available joys but love and community.
For kids, he can be a fun and exciting character or a terrifying monster. At Christmas events, I’ve seen kids run to meet him with as much enthusiasm as they hold for Santa, and others hide in fear.
Every year, photographers stage events for parents to purchase keepsake photos, but when these visits turn mean-spirited, there’s a problem.
For some parents, the fun memorializes their child’s panic as the kid tries to escape the green-costumed monster who has shown up instead of Santa.
Other parents have even had a costumed collaborator show up to ‘steal’ their child’s presents to scare them into better holiday behavior.
Nanny Jo Frost Weighs In
Jo Frost rose to fame on the Supernanny UK reality show, but her reality stardom followed decades of practical experience as a nanny. While some of her public stances on parenting have divided the public, this one is strongly backed by experts.
She spoke emphatically on her social media this week, demanding that parents take down the videos of their children’s reactions. She specifically scolded parents for using these videos for likes, clicks, and financial gain and declared:
“Do you have any idea how frightened you have made your child, the fear they will now have to regulate from, the trust you have broken each time they now have to work out with hesitancy whether you are a ‘safe’ trusted parent they have to soley depend on? Anything larger than life at this age can be overwhelming for a little one,even people like cute Santa but to act rude, mean and horrible like the Grinch is just not okay.”
Frost concluded, “It’s your job to bring the magic, not the madness.”
Most of her followers chimed in to agree, calling the practice abusive and wondering why parents would want to be their child’s “first bullies.” One added that those videos had amused her before having her own kids and recognizing the genuine terror in their eyes.
Psychiatrist Warns About Traumatizing Kids
Dr. Kali Hobson, a psychiatrist in Georgia, has responded to versions of the same trend year after year, begging parents not to do this to their kids.
In her 2021 post, she shared one such video. Two small children seem to think they’re taking perfectly ordinary Christmas photos until the Grinch sneaks up behind them, and they flee in terror. Dr. Hobson explained:
“This is traumatic for children. You are their protector, and so them seeing you stand by and laugh while they’re being attacked by a stranger is traumatic.”
In a more recent post, she presented a skit hinting that parents who pull such a ‘prank’ are bringing their kids in for treatment afterward, completely confused about why they’re suddenly clingy and even scared to go to school.
Another Psychiatric Expert’s Opinion
Psychoanalyst Jessica Broitman, PhD, practicing in California, weighed in last year, agreeing that the trend is inappropriate.
In the video she was addressing, the parents said they had warned that the Grinch would steal all the gifts if the child didn’t behave. It’s not clear what behaviors were being punished by this ‘prank,’ but the parents filmed the child answering the door, only to find the Grinch there.
The costumed visitor collects presents from under the tree while the child runs away shrieking in terror, and someone off-camera, presumably the toddler’s mother, shouts, “Oh no! The Grinch is stealing your presents!”
Dr. Broitman echoed the criticism, noting that the kids in videos like this generally are not old enough to consent to have their trauma shared publicly. She told Forbes:
“It’s never a good idea to deliberately scare your kid, unless you are scaring the kids for the hiccups.”
It’s Not Just The Grinch
Just something about Christmas seems to bring out the desire to terrify kids, or at least to lead some parents to prioritize documenting a “memory” over the child’s comfort.
Every year, there are photos of screaming terrified infants who were not ready to meet Santa, too.
Then there are related trends, like wrapping empty boxes and throwing them in a fireplace when kids misbehave, allowing children to believe that their actual presents are being burned.
When this one went particularly viral a few years ago, therapist Laura McLaughlin of HeadFirst Counseling responded. She asked:
“Do you want a child that behaves the way you want them to just because they are getting a present? Or stop their misbehavior only because they are worried about you burning a present? What happens after Christmas when presents can’t be used as bribes?”
She emphasized that this type of response from parents is ineffective in the long term, and asked parents to think about the unbearable agony they’re causing their kids.
She added that it may even be ineffective in the short term since kids aren’t yet in full control of their behavior and naturally act out until they develop more emotional regulation — which she suggests is better done through connection and attunement than fear and misery.
Happy Holiday Memories & Peaceful Behavioral Regulation
Instead, consider taking holiday photos where your kids are happy, whether that’s with Santa, decorating the tree or eating Christmas cookies. These are memories that they will look back on with fondness rather than trauma.
To prevent holiday meltdowns and keep behavior in check, remember that holidays are overwhelming for kids, and take some time to consider their needs. Please provide them with activities that keep them occupied and help them take breaks to self-regulate as needed.
Most importantly, when your babies are struggling, they need you to be there as their support system and reliable protector — not as someone who might suddenly decide to terrify them.
